HINTS FROM HELOISE

DEAR HELOISE:

I was at a loss about what to do with the things I’ve collected over the years that my kids didn’t want. My wedding china was given to me by my parents. It was beautiful, but none of my children wanted it. I had lead crystal vases, wine glasses, and bowls hand cut from Ireland that no one wanted. I also had handmade Persian rugs, antique furniture that predates the American Civil War, and oil paintings of my mother and grandmother. But even though I offered these things to my children and other relatives, I had no takers.

So many things in my lovely home had stories attached to them and were part of our family history. I had offered to just hand these things over to other members of the family because I bought a condo and couldn’t take most of it with me.

So, I had an estate sale and sold all of it to people who appreciated fine furnishings, and I made a handsome profit. Now my family is furious with me for selling those items, and they’re all sulking. I told them that it’s too bad, and it’s such a shame they refused my original offer.

I even sold my home, which some of them thought they would inherit one day. I sold my husband’s car that was in mint condition to a college student who didn’t have much money but desperately needed transportation. My son was angry when he discovered that I let the student have it for $300.

Did I do this out of pettiness, anger or revenge? No. I needed to get rid of so many of my possessions with very little time to unload them. I told my family that I’d probably put these things up for sale, and no one believed me. Now everything is gone, and I can move on with my life.

The moral here is simple: If you turn down something of value, and it goes to someone else, don’t whine and throw a tantrum. Many opportunities are squandered and lost because someone wasn’t thinking ahead, was too lazy or afraid, or wasn’t paying attention.—Margaret K., Charleston, South Carolina

Margaret, over the many years that I’ve been doing this column, I’ve had hundreds of people write in to say that, in hindsight, they had regrets about turning down job promotions, investment opportunities, and so many other chances to have a better life. Thank you for your letter.