Rack ’em up!

The holiday spirit was defi nitely alive and well in and around the Fort Bragg area from my many encounters with smiles and politeness everywhere I went. I hope your holiday was pleasant for you too and your loved ones as well.

The holiday deadline for putting down concrete for Daisy’s outside pool table failed to materialize again. The good news is, that failure brought the men together and they fi nished at weeks’ end. Whew! Well, disappointing 8-year- old Daisy was not an option. You may not know Ed, but as menacing as he has been in this life, he is respected now as a calm, patient person. So Big Ed was perfect to supervise the concrete distribution, and Hawk was enlisted for brute strength to be sure the job was finished as planned.

I claimed vague infi rmities and sat drinking an adult beverage watching. I wasn’t very integral, because, at that moment, I was rather infi rm. I remember something about being quiet — I was helping direct some operations, but only a tiny bit. When Ed had enough though, he moved me to a position where I couldn’t really see what was going on. I couldn’t easily get up or move around much, so I stayed put enjoying the day from my perch.

This outdoor pool table project was started in response to the lack of inside venues, well, Duh. It isn’t known how well it will work, it is really just a Hail Mary approach. Crutcher’s kid from Lake County has had an outdoor pool table for years and says,

“I play it all year long,” except of course, when he is not Bass fi shing. With a covered awning like a carport, his table is open to the air. Similarly, our table will be open, but only on two ends. It was supposed by someone in our group, most likely a cynic, that the refreshingly cool breeze we have on the coast might be a bit cooler than Lake County is. That is a very valid point we mused, but then it was very astutely pointed out, we are kinda used to a bit of a breeze around here, and a real Fort Bragg resident could take it.

The best of the questions were about what the pool table would likely do? Buckle its felt? Contract in the cold until it plays like on uneven ground? Pop its staples? We just really have no idea what will happen but we will certainly let you know how it turns out. I don’t see outdoor pool tables as something that will be trending any time soon though, as it costs more putting up an outdoor table than one indoors, and it is bound to be less comfortable.

The only upside that was apparent is that it is open to the free flow of air during the COVID-19 pandemic, but beyond that, I don’t see any advantage yet for having an outdoor table.

So Tex, now that he has returned from observing organic chickens a-laying while basking in the sun, does admit,\ his pool table lights were put up in an anticipatory mood. He has decided to move his garage in order to better align his pool table light to a more centered position over the pool table this time. Presently, his pool table light is mounted in the same room as his pool table is, but is not actually over his pool table, but rather, it is near his pool table.

The Tooth is part of how that all happened, and why, it is rumored, that the Tooth took off for Mexico, where he remains, and won’t return. That is why the bids are now, as we speak, going out to move the garage for Tex. It would seem to some people, I suppose, that simply moving the light or table would be a viable option. But basking in the sun, while watching organic chickens lay eggs for weeks has had an odd effect, on Tex. He says he likes right where the light is mounted, and he likes where his table is set too. Hence, he decided to move the whole darn building.

I know just one thing — I ain’t never eating another organic egg again, and that is all I am going to say about this whole affair.

CUE TIP » For your very best results with lighting your pool table, set your table in place first, then hang the lights. If a flat and level table is important to you, I believe having good lighting is nearly as critical as being level, and for having the best time possible on your pool table. Contact me at mcbohanon@ gmail.com.