Review: Dinners With Ruth by Nina Totenberg

Dinners With Ruth by Nina Totenberg is a loving memoir by a PR legal affairs correspondent. In her early years, Totenberg went to Boston U. and then Brown U but was bored and dropped out to get a job at National Observer Newspaper. She did unusual interviews with Senator Robert Byrd and J Edgar Hoover. Her best articles were about tidbits she heard in the lady’s bathrooms. The same was true for Ruth, who wrote her first brief for a case before the Supreme Court. They were on their way… maybe.

But salaries were still less than for male journalists. Other than salaries, sex was a discriminating factor Men were chosen first because they had a family to raise and no one hired women. When the 14th amendment passed, Ruth and Nina met at a conference, a bore to them, and they went shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue and Bloomingdales. They talked and realized they were both outsiders and wanted in. The style was important to both of them. Everything Ruth tried on fit her well, in size two or four, tailored and distinctive. Ruth pulled her hair back to be taken seriously. Even with chemo in New York, Ruth went shopping, attended events, and enjoyed herself. Totenberg here describes a real, three-dimensional person, a delightful one. But Nina is fired after rejecting her editor’s sexual advances. She then goes to work at the New York Times and continues to cover the court, especially the discrimination of African American workers there. The messengers were treated the worst, one who refused to serve at a private party after working many hours.

When Nixon resigned years later, Jimmy Carter became president and brought Ruth in as a federal judge. In the beginning, Nina had no idea how the Supreme Court worked, but she learned by knowing the judges. She admires the relationships of Cokie and Steve Roberts and Ruth and Marty Ginsburg. Cokie and Ruth became her best friends when they all joined NPR radio. When Nina married Floyd, they had to learn to compromise, and neither always had to have their way. Floyd didn’t like big parties, and Nina did because of the interesting people and possible stories she’d uncover. The marriage worked as they made repairs.

Ruth worked for the ACLU and wanted a federal judgeship. Orin Hatch invited her to lunch, and she wowed him. She moved to Washington D.C., and Nina invited Ruth and Marty to dinner, and all had good times together. But tragedy happened: Marty was diagnosed with testicular cancer and had massive radiation. Ruth did everything for him to keep up his studies, typing up his notes at night. She took dictation for his thesis and stayed up until two or three in the morning to do her work. They assumed they’d have no more children, but Ruth became pregnant, and the doctor asked who the father was because of Marty’s radiation. They laughed at this for years after James was born.

When Floyd planned a birthday party for Nina’s fiftieth birthday, he fell on the ice in January, slipped, and could not get up. His brain was filled with blood, and he had many surgeries, and Nina moved to the top floor to be with him. Cokie and Linda never left her alone. Call us any time, they said. Floyd got better and practiced tennis with a walker. He worked at a swimming pool to improve his strength and began driving again. But he died on his way to Maine and was buried at Arlington National Cemetery. Nina’s father played Bach at the memorial service. Nina learned many lessons while going through this crisis: the lesson of duty, of family and friends’ importance. They brought food and books and laughter.

In future years Nina became famous for reporting on Supreme Court nominees as Ruth became the second woman to sit on the Court. Nina understood Ruth’s job, and their friendship grew. Ruth’s greatest assets were her loyalty and her timing. Nina tells stories about Ruth to illustrate this.

Sandra Day O’Connor was the first woman appointed to the court by Ronald Reagan. Totenberg talks about Sandra bringing lunch to the ranch hands at her ranch. Later when Clarence Thomas was nominated to the court, Anita Hill came forward with sexual misconduct charges, and the FBI interviewed her. NPR aired her charges with Totenberg’s audio excerpts. The hearings were broadcast worldwide, and Thomas was confirmed by the smallest margin of the century. Senator Alan Simpson and Nina spoke on Nightline, and he told her she’d better get a gun. People wanted to know her sources, but she said not even from the grave would she reveal them. More women were elected due to these hearings, and Nina kept a distance from Thomas after this.

This is an interesting story with the humor too. The male justices often confused the two women, so they wore shirts that read “I’m Sandra” and “I’m Ruth” though they did not look alike. This book will keep you involved in the court, and the many photos of court members and families add to the interest. Find it on the non-fiction shelf of your local library.