Note to soap opera widower: You’ve only got one life to live
DEAR ABBY:
My wife, ‘‘ Myra,’’ and I have been married more than 50 years, and all she does is watch soap operas every afternoon. I have invited her to lunch and other outings only to be told, ‘‘ OK, but I gotta be home by noon to watch my shows.’’
If the mailman or UPS arrives with a package between noon and 4 and I’m not there, Myra ignores the bell. We have three adult children. If any of them call during that time, she’ll refuse to talk to them even if it’s an emergency. Once, it was our older daughter calling to say our son had been taken to the hospital with a major heart attack. Myra’s sister died of a stroke one afternoon two years ago. My wife didn’t learn about it until the following morning.
On weekends, Myra is always in a bad mood because she says, ‘‘ My soaps aren’t on today.’’
What’s wrong with people like her? Can you think of a way to convince her to get a life?
Bored husband in Akron, Ohio
DEAR HUSBAND: I’ll try, but you have to realize you are dealing with someone who is severely addicted. Your wife gets a ‘‘ rush’’ from watching her ‘‘ soaps,’’ and as her behavior on weekends shows, she goes into withdrawal if she doesn’t get her ‘‘ fix.’’ There may be a solution to this problem. Cable television companies now offer cable boxes that allow viewers to record their favorite television shows on a hard drive for later viewing. I recommend you look into it. If it’s not available in your area, visit an electronics store and see what recording devices it has in stock.
As to convincing your spouse ‘‘ to get a life’’ and start living it with you, it may be too late for that. So make sure you have a life of your own by inviting others to join you for lunch and other outings. That might be what it takes to sober her up.
DEAR ABBY: My sister ‘‘ Peggy’s’’ daughter was married recently. She is 54, and it was her third marriage. Her invitation
stated, ‘‘ No gifts,
please.’’ My son and
nephew gave the
couple a card. Peggy promptly called
them both and informed them that
when a wedding invitation states, ‘‘ No gifts, please,’’ it means the couple doesn’t need household items, and that they should be given money instead.
I am aghast that Peggy would take it upon herself to reprimand my son and nephew and solicit money from them. Incidentally, my nephew was married two years ago. My niece was invited and never sent a gift to them.
Blown away in Bend, Ore.
DEAR BLOWN AWAY:
Where do I begin? For openers, no mention of gifts should have been on the invitation — and that includes ‘‘ No gifts, please.’’ Where your sister got the crazy idea that the phrase means ‘‘ give money instead’’ I will never know. And for her to chastise your son and nephew for not giving her thrice- married daughter money was off the charts. Christmas is coming, and I have the perfect gift suggestion — a book on etiquette.
DEAR ABBY:
Is it proper for people to throw themselves a housewarming party? My husband and I are looking into buying our first home, and I’d love to have one. What, exactly, are the rules? Do you have to be newlyweds?
Curious in the Southwest
DEAR CURIOUS:
It is customary for new homeowners, after getting settled in, to invite friends and family over for a housewarming. You don’t have to be newlyweds — just new homeowners. Generally, the host and hostess send invitations to prospective guests and provide the food and beverages. And the guests bring gifts for the house. That’s all there is to it! Abigail Van Buren is the pseudonym of Jeanne Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. dearabby. comor Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.