Waitress gets herself a side dish
DEAR AMY: I’m a waitress/ bartender at a restaurant in a small town.
Most of the managers at this restaurant live in the same town. I’ve gotten to know one of my managers, “Wendy,” pretty well. We have mutual friends that we both go out with, including her husband “Tim.” Wendy and Tim are separated and going through a divorce.
I was out a couple weeks ago and became too drunk to drive home, so I stayed at a friend’s house. Tim also stayed at the same friend’s house. One thing led to another and we slept together.
I’ve had a bit of a crush on Tim, and he’s admitted that he likes me back. Last week we stayed at the friend’s house again and slept together again.
I don’t know how to talk to Tim about where he and Wendy are in terms of their divorce, but I don’t want to pursue him for a relationship until he is single.
I feel guilty sleeping with a man who is still legally married. Your advice? Guilty in Michigan
DEAR GUILTY: If you want to do the right thing, then do the right thing. The guilt you’re feeling is evidence that you have a conscience, and your conscience is telling you what to do. You are simply choosing not to listen — and that’s on you.
You should not be sleeping with someone if you are not brave enough to even ask a simple question: “What is the status of your marriage?” It is easier to get drunk and have sex and then worry about it in the morning.
DEAR AMY: For most of our 20-year marriage I have cooked for our family. I am not a fabulous cook, but I can follow a recipe.
More than a year ago, I procured a big job making a lot more money in a new city. My husband agreed it would be a good move for our family, and we relocated. While I have been focused on getting established at work, he put his career on hold for a while.
He has gamely assumed kitchen duties, and I am grateful. Amy — he is a terrible cook. He will not follow any of the recipes in my library of cookbooks because he feels they stifle his creativity. And, boy, does he get creative!
When I suggest he follow a recipe he is offended, saying that it is boring and he likes to experiment. He has rejected cooking classes. I am happy to make my own dinner, but this also appears to offend him. Any suggestions? Desperate for Dinner DEAR DESPERATE: There are a number of companies offering prepackaged meals that can be delivered to your home each week in a box complete with all the ingredients, recipes and ideas. Your husband might enjoy assembling these ingredients and spices and being “creative” with side dishes.
As a gift to your household and a nod to your husband’s heroic efforts, you might sign up for one of these services.
I also can’t resist recommending “How to Cook Everything, The Basics: All You Need to Make Great Food,” by Mark Bittman (2012, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt). I realize I’m recommending yet another recipe book, but this one has lots of pictures.
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