Fifth installment in ‘Pirates’ movie franchise mostly a wreck.
The plot is horribly muddled in this fifth installment of the franchise, which is mostly a wreck
The opening scene of “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” is a fitting metaphor for the current state of this long franchise: A creaky old galleon is unceremoniously yanked up from the ocean depths, and the only things aboard are cranky old ghosts.
The weary, battered fifth franchise entry has lots of CGI tricks but a hopelessly muddled plot. Johnny Depp is back as Jack Sparrow, as is Geoff rey Rush playing the bearded Barbossa, with his faithful capuchin monkey. The film also marks the return of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley in tiny cameos, as the lovers Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann.
Newcomers include Golshifteh Farahani as a pretty cool, punky witch, and Kaya Scodelario and Brenton Thwaites, who play young star- crossed lovers with serious daddy issues. The bad guy this time is Javier Bardem as the captain of a ghost ship, who’s very believable in that role. His full-throttled fury recalls Ricardo Montalban in “The Wrath of Khan.”
Directors Espen Sandberg and
Joachim Rønning have been given the keys to the kingdom, and they’ve thrown everything at this project — a half- dozen big sea battles, a shotgun wedding, a joint execution, underwater sword fights and even a Beatle. (Look carefully, and you’ll find Sir Paul McCartney doing a cameo in a jail.)
The new story is about a hunt for the Trident of Poseidon, which can break curses. It’s also about Bardem and his ghost crew busting out of the Devil’s Triangle to hunt pirates, not to mention Barbossa protecting his empire and the young lovers fulfilling their destinies.
At its center is Depp, whose Sparrow is now down on his luck and abandoned by his crew. He keeps muttering about being a bed wetter. You can’t beat the special effects, though, especially the way the ghosts are rendered with missing body parts.
But after this fifth episode, maybe it’s time for Disney to declare the franchise dead and move on to tell some fresh tales.