On Father’s Day, become a mentor for foster kids
On Sunday, families will spend time with one another, celebrating the men in their lives — fathers, grandfathers, uncles and brothers — a day of love and laughter. However, for children in foster care, Father’s Day is often painful, a day of sadness due to separation from family, a day of loneliness.
For boys and young men whose fathers are not able to participate in their life, it’s crucial that they have a role model to support and guide them through life. Foster children, in particular, are the most vulnerable. Without a consistent, caring adult in their life, less than 50 percent of foster youth will graduate from high school, 33 percent will become homeless and 25 percent will become incarcerated.
Unfortunately, many boys and young men in need of guidance and support do not have a male mentor or father figure in their life. At most nonprofits that work with disadvantaged youth, the percentage between women and men volunteers is about 80 percent women and 20 percent men. And that’s if the nonprofit is actively recruiting male volunteers. It’s time for more men to step up and do what women have been doing all along — volunteer to help a child in need.
There are approximately 3,100 children in foster care throughout the San Francisco Bay Area. Last year, 10 Bay Area organizations that advocate for foster children through the Court Appointed Special Advocate, or CASA, program embarked on an online advertising campaign to recruit more male volunteers. Only 6 percent of the agency’s volunteers were male, yet nearly 50 percent of the children in foster care are male. Following are excuses many men may relate to: EXCUSE NO. 1 » You’re too busy with work and family obligations. The reality is that many organizations require less than 10 volunteer hours a month. Retirees, in particular, have more time to give back and could have a tremendous impact on a young man’s life. I advocate for two teenage boys and have found it one of the most rewarding volunteer experiences of my life. EXCUSE NO. 2 » You lack the right experience. Single men or men without kids often think they lack experience to do volunteer work with children. Men, more so than women, may think if they can’t be assured they will do something well, they don’t want to do it. EXCUSE NO. 3 » You don’t have the right background. Most nonprofits do not require their vol- unteers to have a college degree or advanced degree. Men, in particular, mistakenly think they need to have experience as a parent or educator to volunteer to work with children. Young boys need male role models to help guide them through life, someone they can easily relate to, and often working with someone of the same gender or sexual orientation helps bridge that gap sooner. It is particularly important for LGBTQ youth to have a mentor or advocate with whom they feel they can easily relate to and share their personal struggles. EXCUSE NO. 4 » You worry you won’t have a big impact. Volunteering to work with a child may not seem like a high return on investment activity. An overwhelming majority of male volunteers will tell you that it is one of the best things they’ve ever done. As a CASA volun- teer, I can’t think of a better return on investment that comes from helping a foster child graduate from high school, find a job, continue their education and become a healthy, productive adult.
Silicon Valley is a place of innovation, where the best and brightest minds are solving world problems, yet children languish in our own communities eager for someone to listen and help guide them through life’s everyday challenges. I challenge Bay Area men to reach outside their comfort zone, to find the bandwidth and volunteer to help a child in need. Women can’t do it alone. Adam Escoto is a former foster youth, school principal and assistant superintendent. He is currently a Court Appointed Special Advocate volunteer with Child Advocates of Silicon Valley.