Helping low-income families with children’s learning needs
Peninsula Family Connections has created learning kits
Yadira Mederos de Cardenas had been in the United States for three years when she found out she was pregnant with her first child, a boy she awaited with joyful anticipation.
Two years later, Mederos de Cardenas’ joy had become clouded with anxiety. Though her son Isaac had been born a happy, healthy and playful baby, he hadn’t said a word by the time he was 2 ½.
Mederos de Cardenas knew something was wrong when she saw younger kids happily blurting out the gibberish all mothers eagerly await, knowing soon “mom” would come out too.
But Isaac hadn’t gotten there yet, a common sign of the autism spectrum.
“It was weighing on me,” said the Mexican immigrant. “The fear of whether he was going to speak or not. The not knowing what was going to happen. I couldn’t sleep.”
Then she found out about Peninsula Family Connections — a nonprofit willing to help with Isaac’s learning difficulties and seeking $20,000 from
Wish Book readers to help mothers like Mederos de Cardenas give the best for their children.
Even though she knew what the nonprofit offered, Mederos de Cardenas hesitated to reach out.
That was until one day in 2006 when Mederos de Carde
nas was sitting on a chair in her living room and found herself in an anxious pit again. The same self- deprecating thoughts and self-blame that kept her awake at night again raced through her mind as Isaac played in front of her.
Next to her on a side table was the phone, and she knew the number. But she couldn’t pick it up. Doing so would have acknowledged that there was a problem: that her son Isaac wasn’t “normal,” that he needed help and that she couldn’t do it alone.
She blamed herself from the very beginning: Isaac couldn’t speak because she didn’t stimulate him enough. Isaac ran around and didn’t keep still because she was not good at keeping him in check — thoughts that tormented her. She thought, “Isaac is a normal boy, but I am not a good mother.”
“But then I snapped out of it when I heard Isaac laugh,” Mederos de Cardenas said. “I looked at him playing with his trains, smiling. He looked so happy. I thought, ‘ I’m losing time and he could be taking advantage of these resources.’ I could be doing something.”
Several weeks later, Mederos de Cardenas was finally on the path to helping Isaac thanks to Peninsula Family Connections, an agency dedicated to helping low-income families on the Peninsula with educational resources and aid
he first time she joined a family group, Mederos de Cardenas said that while other mothers sat and practiced learning techniques with their patient children, Isaac ran around the room and became angry when asked to pay attention.
After the agency connected her with an advocate, a worried Mederos de Cardenas began to understand Isaac when psychologists visited her home for three hours to evaluate her son and recommended clinical trials. There they confirmed Isaac was on the autism spectrum. It was a shock, but the not knowing went away.
“I felt so encouraged that they were going to tell me everything was fine and all he needed was speech therapy,” Mederos de Cardenas said. “When I knew, I felt a shock inside. I didn’t feel like crying though. I was so tired of crying and being anxious and stressed. At that point, I said, ‘I’m not going to go back to how I felt.’ ”
Fa m i ly C on ne c t ion s helped Mederos de Cardenas place Isaac in a special day class that San Mateo County offered for preschool-age kids. She kept going to counselors, talking with people at Family Connections and eventually became so confident in advocating for her son — something she thought she’d never do — that her first instinct was to help other parents like her.
She’s now a mother of three and a program coordinator at Family Connections, but Mederos de Ca rdena s underst a nd s that she couldn’t have gotten anywhere without help. It took her forever, she said, to let go of feeling shame in asking for help.
Now in the age of the coronav ir us pandemic, with the challenges of a childhood education on full display and the resources for low- income families sorely lacking, Mederos de Cardenas said she can’t imagine how families are getting through this difficult time.
But in the same way that Family Connections changed her life, Mederos de Cardenas is positive that other families can also get help — especially from someone who’s been in the same boat.
“Family Connections builds on the experiences of our participants, having both staff and board members who were also participants,” said Sarah Poulain, executive director of Family Connections. “This lived experience is essential in ensuring we are meeting the unique needs of our families.”
The need is especially profound for thousands of Latinx families and families of color who face stark economic difficulties and challenges with at-home education as the coronavirus continues to spread.
Hoping to serve over 120 families, Family Connections Program Director Lorena Alcayaga said the money would help the nonprofit continue to provide learning kits for lowincome students. At about $65 a pop, the learning kits provide students and families with age- appropriate learning materials, resources and support staff to prevent learning loss and achievement delays in the future.
Mederos de Cardenas said she’d like all parents to take the leap of faith and ask for help.
Isaac, diagnosed with mild autism, is now 16 and doing well in high school.
“What happened with Isaac made me a more strong and courageous person,” Mederos de Cardenas said. “That shy person that
I was once slowly turned into losing that shame and seeking out help. I realized that I was waiting for everyone else to do things for me.
I had to learn that I am the mother and that I am the best advocate for my kids. I had to make the call. It took months, but I did it.”