Yes, you will get over ex- beau
DEAR AMY: I’ve read your column for years, and now I want your advice. I am a freshman in college, and a couple of months ago I was dumped by my first boyfriend. We weren’t together long, but I am still hung up over him.
Winter break has ended, and I’ll have to see him; I don’t know how I am supposed to feel. How do I get over him?
Breakup Hang- Up
DEAR HANG- UP: It occurs to me that I have been writing this column for more than half of your life. And I’ve lived the whole “how to get over him” question for far longer.
How are you supposed to feel? Exactly the way you feel. However, how you act can have an effect on how you feel, and to some extent, you can consciously “act” your way out of this.
When I was your age and going through this I was so freaked ( and geeked) out, I literally fell over from nerves in front of a former object of my affection. Please— do not do this. But forgive yourself if you do.
Model your own behavior on the coolest person you can think of, then act like that person. Avoid your ex, but prepare yourself for those times when you will run into him. Do not fall over. Stand tall. Act cool. Stuff down the drama and act neutral. Self- medicate only with the warmth of your friendships and Nora Ephron movies. Plunge into your schoolwork and extracurriculars. Do not drink. Erase his number from your phone.
Spring will come; by the time the lilacs are in bloom, you will feel better.
DEAR AMY: I’m 23 and recently graduated from college. After I moved back home, I realized that there aren’t any available jobs in my field of study. I have no job experience, no car ( or license), and my student loan bills are starting to pile up.
I’ve been struggling to find a job for months. However, no one seems to be willing to hire me because of my lack of work experience. I don’t want to be a burden on my family. Any advice?
Worried
DEARWORRIED:
Volunteer for an organization whose goals you share. Take any paying gigs you can get, including baby- sitting, plant- watering, cleaning houses or shoveling snow. Work on getting a driver’s license ( even if you don’t have access to a car, this skill is very important).
Everybody has a first job — eventually. Any work experience ( paid or volunteer) will help your pitch, keep you busy, and bring in some dough while you continue to pursue your first professional opportunity.
DEAR AMY: When “Guilty” said he/ she was aggressive at a party, you blamed drinking for the aggression. I disagree. Guilty claimed to have imbibed one drink.
Incredulous
DEAR INCREDULOUS: “Guilty” claimed to have one glass of wine before guests arrived, but didn’t say how much alcohol was consumed later. Guilty also self- reported being “buzzed” and being from an alcoholic and aggressive family. Drinking seemed the common denominator.