Is bad karma ruining love life?

DEAR AMY: Toward the end of my junior year of college, I met a man who I thought was going to be Mr. Right and Forever.

We got engaged a week before my graduation, and I was over the moon. We moved in together after I graduated.

We broke up three months before the wedding. He broke my heart and crushed any hope I had for fairy tale love at that time.

We continued to “see” each other, even though I knew he was dating a co-worker (shame on me, I know).

Almost two years to the date after our supposed-tobe wedding, we had a phone conversation, which led to a fight and him driving to my apartment. After having sex that night, a friend told me that she saw his engagement announcement in the newspaper.

I know that I shouldn’t have continued to see him when they were dating, but I ended it after I found out they were engaged.

They’ve been together eight years now and have a child. On the other hand, I have not been in a relationship since the breakup.

Is this karma’s way of saying I’m cursed because of our indiscretions? I’m open to being in love again, but just haven’t found that same kind of spark or feeling that I did with him initially. Karma Cursed?

DEAR CURSED: I know it’s tempting to blame karma for delivering what you see as your just deserts for participating in this cheating episode, but if that is the case, then why hasn’t karma punished your ex? What he did was worse.

I think you should assume that karma has bigger fish to fry than to continue to punish you for your behavior of long ago.

Perhaps you should stop punishing yourself.

Are you out there, looking to meet Mr. Right? Are you willing to date a bunch of Mr. Not Quites in order to find him? It is hard to put yourself out there, and risk getting hurt again. I hope you are brave enough to try.

DEAR AMY: I was married at the age of 18. I had a baby boy at 19, and divorced quickly.

My son never met his biological father. He was raised and adopted by my current husband (of 42 years). Their relationship has at times been rocky.

Over the years, I have often asked my son if he would ever want to meet his biological dad, and he always says the same thing: “He didn’t want me, so why should I want him?”

My son’s wife wants him to find his dad (she and my husband hate each other).

Recently, the biological dad passed away without them ever meeting. Now my daughter-in-law wants to reach out to his widow.

My son is 50 years old. Shouldn’t we just leave it alone? Upset

DEAR UPSET: Your son should do what he wants to do. He might feel secure enough to face the painful process of trying to connect with someone he will never know. Midlife is typically a time of self-reflection and discovery; he should be encouraged.

This might be painful to you, but if this is what he wants, you should try to be supportive — not urge him to leave it alone.