How Jacqueline Payne used humor and positivity to beat breast cancer

Coping with the loss of your mother can be a painful and difficult process.

Grieving while doctors confirm you have breast cancer made Jacqueline Payne feel especially vulnerable.

Still in mourning after her mother’s passing late in 1996, Payne received troubling news a few months later from her doctor after a routine mammogram.

The San Jose resident — who had dedicated her life to working with young children recovering from cases of trauma, tragedy, death and divorce in her private licensed marriage and family therapist practice — had been diagnosed with breast cancer.

The surprising results from her personal practitioner quickly turned her life into one laden with fear.

“Leading up to it, I had no suspicion whatsoever that I had anything concerning a problem with my breasts,” she explained. “It was just a routine mammogram. Then the emotion was terror. Absolute trauma.”

Even after she worked with friends and family to find a second opinion with Palo Alto-based specialist Dr. Diana Guthaner, “The fear continued.”

Along with Dr. Guthaner and Kaiser Permanente, the newly diagnosed patient worked tirelessly to make sure the two were in complete unison throughout the process via constant communication.

The first course of action was a biopsy in November of 1997 followed by a lumpectomy.

“Then I had radiation, but I could not handle it emotionally,” Payne said. “It was very scary to me. I didn’t like it that I was put on this slab in a large room with a big machine coming over myself. It was very difficult to manage the anxiety of it.”

The treatments were slated for three times per week for three months at O’Connor Hospital, but knowing she couldn’t handle the radiation sessions she told the hospital — against their objections — that she was stopping the treatments at once.

In 2005, the cancer reappeared, and so Payne made the difficult decision to have a mastectomy.

The entire process was extremely stressful not only on the patient, but also on her son and daughter.

“It was especially challenging because I was away at college down in San Diego,” said Payne’s daughter, Janell, who was a communications studies major at San Diego State University at the time. “I flew up to San Jose to help my mom after her surgery, but it was hard to go back to school and be away from her.”

“When you’re a kid you think your parents are invincible, immortal even. It expedites the reality of our mortality.”

Now, at the age of 72, Payne has had a clean bill of health since her mastectomy a dozen years ago. She credits a number of personal actions, hobbies and community involvement that helped her stay positive from the first day of recovery up until today.

She found comfort and solace after connecting with Palo Alto-based Bay Area Cancer Connections — a nonprofit that supports those impacted by breast and ovarian cancer.

She also relied on the therapeutic power of positive social interaction.

“Back in 1997, I began attending group sessions that often had everything from art therapy to journaling. I did much of that kind of work at the time.”

During her darkest days, when the fear of death cast a shadow like a towering skyscraper in the late afternoon, Payne would employ various ways to cheer herself up and stay positive.

“I would be with friends and family members. I’d seek out something that would be humorous or provide any opportunities to laugh. That was the best medicine.

“Also, I would go over the hill a lot to see the ocean. That was pleasant and calming for me.”

Journaling, while not exactly as joyful as watching waves lap against sandy shores, was also a therapeutic and cathartic outlet she suggests others partake in. And it wasn’t just the writing, but the sharing of those words with others that formed a camaraderie.

“I would do short story writing in group workshops and all that expressiveness was very helpful for emoting and crying and feeling the support of others.”

The soothing words of motivational author and speaker Louise Hay also played a vital role in Payne’s recovery. The author’s tapes were handed out at the hospital at the time, and hours of her free healing audio content are available today on YouTube.

According to Breastcancer.org, “About one in eight U.S. women (about 12 percent) will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her lifetime.” Last month, former “Seinfeld” and current “Veep” star Julia Louis-Dreyfus announced she is now a member of that 12 percent group.

Here’s hoping more patients’ experience will resemble Jacqueline Payne’s story — that with a little bit of patience, love and positive actions everything can turn out just fine.