Beware bombogenesis and other headlines from 2017

Unruly teenagers, mall bans, flood warnings were some of the top stories

As we tiptoe closer to the start of another year, a look back at the some of the strange goings-on that Mercury News reporters wrote about in 2017 seems in order. It was a wild ride from our vantage point, featuring zebra murders and sealion videos that went viral and rainstorms of Biblical proportion — to say nothing of the circus-like narrative unfolding on our national political stage.

Here’s a look back at some of the headlines that had us all scratching our heads:

Sacramento mall cracks down on minors

The story: It seems almost silly in retrospect that we all got so excited about kids behaving badly, but a year ago much of the country was gripped by unbridled angst over the shenanigans unfolding in our nation’s shopping malls. With teens running amok, mall owners were cracking down. And we focused on the Arden Fair in Sacramento, where the owners’ decision to ban unaccompanied minors from the center sparked civil-libertarian outrage even more dramatic than the food-court shenanigans that prompted the ban in the first place.

Where are the Bay Area’s sinkholes?

The story: Thanks to our record rainfall last winter, the Bay Area’s roadways were pockmarked with the most gnarly display of holes in the ground ever witnessed by a civilized society. Giant potholes, it seemed, were popping up all over. One super-sized sinkhole on Highway 13 in Oakland was nicknamed “Steve” by Caltrans workers.

San Jose evacuees head back home

The story: Another

month, another bunch of heavy rains. So after floods washed over scores of homes near downtown San Jose, we offered returning homeowners a few tips on moving back onto terra firma, especially terra covered with stinky mud. The tips, courtesy of FEMA, included wearing long sleeves and sturdy shoes to enter your mud-filled house, washing your hands often and, last but not least, this: “Beware the mold: (It) can form within 48 hours, so work fast and smart. Reducing the humidity and temperature in your house in those early hours can help slow the mold’s growth.”

The Oroville Dam story: by the numbers

The story: We love numbers almost as much as our readers do. So when those heavy rains caused the spillway at the Oroville Dam to collapse, threatening downstream communities, we came up with “a few things you should know about the dam and the lake behind it.” Our favorites numbers were: “100,000 — cubic feet per second flowing out of the lake” and “180,000 — downstream residents ordered to evacuate.”

Here comes a bombogenesis!

The story: No, that’s not a typo. It’s the name of a crazy weather pattern that earlier this year got thrown into our meteorological

mix. “It’s called a ‘bombogenesis.’ And it’s coming soon to a ZIP Code near you. Soon, as in tonight,” we wrote. “Meteorologists define this weather phenomenon approaching the Golden State as we speak as ‘a rapidly deepening extratropical cyclonic lowpressure area.’ Forgive them. That’s just how meteorologists talk.”

Sushi restaurant owner saves the day

The story: “Meet Kieu Hoang, San Jose’s knight in shining white jacket and candy-colored trousers,” was our lede. The guy seemed to be too good to be true — dressed to the nines and riding into San Jose’s flood-ravaged community like a mysterious hero to save the day. Well, as far as we know, his $5 million check to help the city’s flood victims did not bounce. And we were happy to share with our readers all the cool things we learned about this daysaver from Southern California: He sells killer sushi at his L.A. restaurants, owns a business that sells blood products, and says he wants to cure cancer and solve homelessness.

Lost AirPods: First world problems

The story: With the announcement from Apple that its new iOS 10.3 software would include a nifty feature that lets you use the Find My iPhone tool to find your missing AirPods, we poked around for some fanboy tales of woe triggered by lost airbuds. Our favorite was this one, from a guy using the online handle “woody-norman:” “The first time I misplaced it, I was using them in bed. They ended up falling behind the bed and (weren’t) easy to find. Second time was in my work truck. They fell into the ‘black hole’ between the seats. Took me forever to find it.”

Memogate, deep state and much much more

The story: The items in our glossary speak for themselves, starting with “Memogate: the label being applied to the Trump-Comey mashup, wherein the Washington Post and others report that the president tried to put the quash on then-FBI director Comey’s probe into the activities of Mike Flynn, Trump’s disgraced and former national security chief.” And who could forget this classic?” The stained blue dress: the description, which is a sordid reference to a dress once worn by Monica Lewinsky during one of her dalliances with President Bill Clinton, is now being used (along with “the Nixon tapes,” the Bill Clinton-Loretta Lynch “tarmac meeting” and others) as an analogy for Memogate.”

We could go on . . . (drinking straws banned in Berkeley, Jerry Garcia’s guitar, bike-versus-selfdriving-car, how to handle sharks, Denver’s anti-gay cake baker, speed-freak killers and Powerball numerology)

But we won’t. Happy New Year.