Man takes back seat to her phone

DEAR AMY >> I am a 57-year-old man dating a 49-yearold woman. We’ve been together for over a year.

She is beautiful, smart, sexy and tons of fun. However, she never puts her phone down.

No matter what we are doing or where we are, she is texting and answering texts from her teenage children. This goes on, no matter how serious or inconsequential the issue is.

She will sit in a dark movie theater and text her son about where his shoes are, or answer questions that could definitely wait until she isn’t busy.

Her reply is that she has three kids and has to be available to them always, no matter what.

She literally has rolled over in bed, grabbed her phone and answered questions about family birthdays, etc.

To make it even more complicated, she plays online games and thinks nothing of whipping out her phone in a nice restaurant as I sit there so humiliated while waitresses look at me with pity.

She says I am old-fashioned and that this is normal behavior. Is it?

— Old-fashioned Guy

DEAR OLD-FASHIONED >> Let’s grant your gal her obsession with her teenage kids’ shoes. If she is an involved mom and not at home because she is with you, then I’d say yes — she should get a pass to communicate with them, even though she seems to do so to a ridiculous degree. (But no texting in the movie theater, Mom!)

So, we’ve given your friend a generous pass concerning her children.

Now, why is she playing Candy Crush at the dinner table? Does she offer a reason or excuse when she does this?

Do you confront her about her intolerable rudeness? And if not — why not?

You are a fellow adult. You have feelings. You don’t like being ignored, discounted and then told that your feelings are less important than her online gaming, or that you are “old-fashioned” because you don’t like being ignored.

Frankly, she doesn’t seem that into you.

Enjoy this relationship for what it is, while it lasts. But I hope that ultimately you will choose to be with someone who makes you feel wanted, important and worth it.

DEAR AMY >> I was very moved by the letter from “Hurt and Sad,” who was upset when friends didn’t extend condolences after her father’s death.

I want you to know that this particular line really got to me: “Showing up as a witness to someone else’s loss is a vital expression of our own humanity.”

I’ve cut it out and put it in my wallet.

Thank you. — Grateful