A boy belongs with his bears

DEAR READERS >> Every year, I step away from the Ask Amy column for two weeks to work on other writing projects.

My two memoirs, “The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Story of Surprising Second Chances” (2010, Hachette) and “Strangers Tend to Tell Me Things: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Coming Home” (2018, Hachette) are available from your favorite bookseller or library.

Today’s (2010) “Best Of” column contains one of my most memorable questions. I’m running the original question and answer, as well as a sample of the lovely and supportive responses I received from readers who were touched by the story of a child’s connection to his stuffed animals.

I’ll be back with fresh Ask Amy columns next week.

DEAR AMY >> I have a friend who is the father of a 12-year-old son. My friend’s son’s bedroom is filled with stuffed animals. These are not “guy” toys, but pink, yellow, orange, etc., stuffed animals. We have tried to tell the dad that this is not appropriate for a young man, but he just scoffs at us. There are hundreds of these stuffed animals in this child’s room.

What are your thoughts? — Wondering Friend

DEAR WONDERING >> My thoughts are that hundreds of any toy is too much for a child to possess, but it’s not for you to judge the type of toys this child collects. It’s also not for you to judge whether stuffed animals are sufficiently masculine for someone else’s child to play with.

If this dad seeks out your counsel on the quantity and quality of his son’s toys, then go for it. Otherwise, you should keep your views to yourself.

DEAR AMY >> We have a grandson who, when he was 12, not only had lots of stuffed animals but also carried one around with him everywhere. This drove my husband crazy.

I taught elementary school students for 42 years. I told him to leave the boy alone.

The grandson is now a music teacher and a fine young man. — Barbara

DEAR BARBARA >> “Leave the boy alone” is sage advice for many parents and grandparents — in many different contexts. You are a wise woman. Thank you.

DEAR AMY >> When I was in high school, the boy I had begun dating handed me a closed paper lunch bag. Shyly, he said he knew I could sew and wondered if I could fix what was in the bag. It was a stuffed panda bear, badly worn.

I was touched by his sentimental attachment to the bear and thought, “This guy will make a great daddy someday.”

Recently we celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary. He’s been a kind, loving and gentle husband and father to our two daughters, who are now grown and married.

And the stuffed panda bear? We still have it.

DEAR SHIRLEY >> This is lovely. Thank you.