Project lead goes unacknowledged

DEAR HARRIETTE

>> I worked for several months on a project that culminated in a big public event. As the lead on this project, I brought in another company to co-produce with me. Together we did an excellent job — by all accounts. When the event was over, the head of the company called my partner to say thank you but did not call me. I thought that was rude. I am the one who brought everyone together. While my partner definitely had an important role in the event, I found it odd that the big boss didn’t think to thank me.

I know I have to get past these hurt feelings, but also I think it’s important for him to know that my team coordinated the entire effort. Also, I don’t want him to go over my head in the future and choose to hire my partner and cut me out of the deal. How should I handle this?

— Taking the Lead

DEAR TAKING THE LEAD >> It’s perfectly understandable for you to expect that your client would acknowledge you as the leader of the project you were hired to fulfill. But you are right: You cannot let your feelings get in the way.

Instead, as the leader, be proactive. Send a thank-you note to him and his staff, extending your appreciation to him for hiring you and your partner for this project. Reiterate that you hope they continue to be pleased with the results of the event. Then add that you hope they will think of you for future projects.

DEAR HARRIETTE >> I started visiting a coffee shop once a week to have a chance to get outside and do some work in a different setting. This coffee shop is typically empty and only allows a few customers in at a time. It is around the corner from my apartment, so I enjoy going there.

A new barista recently started there. He is nice and makes good drinks, but he is super flirty and chatty. I spend a good amount of time there, and he will constantly come over to my table and compliment me and talk to me and ask me out on dates. I have turned him down and told him I just want some alone time to get my work done, but he doesn’t stop. I don’t want to find a new shop, but this barista is disturbing. What should I do?

— Chatty Coffee Shop

DEAR CHATTY COFFEE SHOP >> The next time he approaches you inappropriately, tell him clearly and directly that he is making you uncomfortable. Point out that you come to this coffee shop regularly, and he is making you feel that you should stop coming. Tell him that you intend to report him to his supervisor if he does not stop. Give him a chance to back off.

If he continues, make a beeline for his boss and describe the offensive behavior. You are perfectly within your rights to have a peaceful experience devoid of harassment at this coffee shop.