Overwhelmed new dad retreats

S ARAMY>> I’m struggling. We started a business and had a baby during the pandemic. My wife and

I have become reclusive (especially me).

The isolation has caused me to lose my social graces. Basically, I just feel annoyed by everyone. I don’t want to get together with people.

My increased presence on social media has shown me how crazy some of these friends’ ideas are.

I liked them better when I knew less. I could just focus on what we have in common. I’ve discovered some very unattractive traits about a lot of the people I interact with.

I’d like to ask how to return to previous ways, but I don’t know if I even want to.

I still do some things: I play sports and coach, but I don’t really socialize much. I used to go to parties, bars, golf outings, etc.

I just don’t feel like doing these things anymore, and I’m turned off by people.

Maybe I’ve just become super judgmental. I’m letting these friendships and relationships go because I feel like I can’t deal with them — or don’t want to be bothered.

It’s to the point where any little thing can get you on my no-friend list now.

I suppose it is neurotic, but I’m just not sure how to turn the tiller.

It’s even affecting my family.

Obviously, I suffer from some anxiety and depression, but I don’t feel like they’ve taken over my life.

I just don’t want to hang out anymore. I feel like I should want to, but I just don’t.

— Struggling Dude

in the Midwest

S AR STRUGGLING >> First, take a very deep breath. You have experienced extremely stressful life changes during the last year. Starting a business and having a baby are two events that are bound to profoundly affect how you spend your time.

However, based on what you report, I would say that your anxiety and depression are dominating your life.

Your hair-trigger anger is alarming, and you are perceptive to see this change in your temperament as a definite cause for concern. It’s time to take this seriously; start with a visit to your general practitioner; seek a referral to a therapist.

Your experience of the pandemic has amplified everything for you, and like many people (myself included), you are resisting “getting back out there.”

Please, detach from whatever social media is triggering you. (I’ve done this, and it has helped.) You could preserve some of your real-world relationships with people who are good at life but awful on social media.

You and your wife should make a date to take your baby to a park, cafe or playground. Sit together and enjoy your child. Tiptoe out into the world in stages, and you’ll encounter parents of young children and other people (like me) who are also fumbling, blinking and gingerly emerging.