Breast cancer recovery is slow

DEAR AMY >> The week the COVID-19 lockdown began last year, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My husband couldn’t even be in the waiting room during my bilateral mastectomies.

It’s been a long slog of a year with chemo and treatments and losing my hair. I’ve had several more surgeries. I now must wear lymph sleeves.

Now we can once again go places, and I am returning to good health.

The problem is that I can’t get myself energized or excited about doing much of anything.

Iwanttostayhomeand take naps. I look different and my confidence is low. I don’t know who I am now, but I do know that I’m not that person I was pre-cancer and pre-COVID-19.

Everyone seems to think I am cured, but I still have lingering side effects. I avoid people and feel anxious when someone wants to come over.

I don’t know what to say.

I’m 50 years old but feel ancient.

— Surviving

DEAR SURVIVING >> Through your terribly challenging year, you have been cared for by others, and now the rest of your recovery will be about you attending to your “self-care.”

Given what you have been through (multiple surgeries and chemotherapy), it isn’t at all surprising that your recovery would extend over the course of the next months.

Depression is a common occurrence after a cancer diagnosis, and while being depressed during the diagnosis phase might make sense to you, the rate of depression during and after successful treatment is also statistically high.

According to a twopart series published by

the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center (fredhutch. org), “15% to 25% of people with cancer — a rate two to three times that of the general population — develop a clinically significant depression that can affect their ability to function on a daily basis, including going through treatment.”

And because depression occurs along a spectrum, as many as half of cancer survivors are estimated to be affected by depression and anxiety as a result of their illness.

Talk to someone on your treatment team about your mental health.

Depression and anxiety are treatable, and you will feel better with time.

Perhaps your earlier post-pandemic outings should start with virtual (or in-person) support meetings. Check the American Cancer Society website for the Cancer Survivors Network: cancer.org.

If people query you, you can say, “I’m still recovering, and it’s going slowly.”

DEAR AMY >> Regarding the middle school teacher who held a contest to vote for leaders to get a pizza party, if 27 kids out of 30 in the class “won,” my take is that 27 kids voted for themselves, and only three of them had the integrity not to do that.

— Steve

DEAR STEVE >> A plausible explanation. Those three should get the pizza prize!