Victim wants to warn others

DEAR AMY » Several years ago, I was physically attacked

— and seriously injured — by a man I had dated, on and off, for several years. I had him arrested.

He was charged and received one year of probation. I was granted a restraining order.

My issue is with his family. After the attack, his sisters informed me that: He was a pathological liar, he had served jail time for felony DWI, he had a history of sponging off of women and family members, and his exwife had divorced him because of his alcoholism.

This man frequently drove my car, and his sisters knew it. And they also knew that, due to the felony DWI, he would never again possess a driver’s license.

I saw them a number of times throughout our relationship and was friends with both on Facebook, yet neither of them ever said one word to me about their brother.

I now check their Facebook regularly to see if their brother is dating anyone. Because if he is, I intend to tell her everything.

So far, nothing. But I think that warning potential victims is their responsibility, not mine. What do you think?

— Seriously

Concerned

DEAR CONCERNED » I can understand why you harbor feelings of bitterness toward this entire family, but by placing responsibility for protecting women onto these sisters, you seem to be asking them basically to police their brother.

I completely agree that once they became aware that you were in a longerterm relationship with him these sisters should have notified you of his terrible track record and felony conviction.

However, the sibling relationship is vastly different from an intimate partner relationship. These sisters have never dated him (one hopes). They don’t have the option of not being related to him. He might be as menacing toward them as he was toward you. Or they might have believed that he had changed during his relationship with you.

You don’t harbor conflicted feelings or beliefs about him — as his sisters might.

You have direct knowledge of how dangerous he is, and you have access to his arrest record and restraining order to prove it.

Yes, if you become aware that he is dating someone, you should warn her. Understand that anything you commit to writing (on Facebook messenger, for instance) can be shared, so be cautious. Your warning could save another woman from harm.

DEAR AMY » “Anxious in Georgia” had a husband who was trying to gaslight her into a threesome (or his cheating) with her friend.

This made me chuckle, recalling a similar incident with a friend of mine.

The husband wanted a threesome with another woman, so my friend was recruited.

Very quickly though, the two women fell in love with each other, became a couple, and the husband was left alone.

— Still Chuckling

DEAR CHUCKLING » That’s a juicy “How we met” story.