The Mercury News

Grandparen­ts resent entitled child’s drama

- AEC ADy Amy Dickinson Contact Amy Dickinson via email at askamy@ amydickins­on.com.

DEAR AMY >> My husband and I have two granddaugh­ters whom we cherish.

I am growing increasing­ly concerned with the behavior of their parents toward the youngest one.

“Camille” has always been the “drama queen.” If she didn’t get her way, she pitched a fit and her parents acquiesced.As she got older, they catered to most every whim and almost always deferred to her.

Camille has refused to get the COVID-19 vaccinatio­n and her parents will not insist on it. She is a young adult and I think her parents can and should educate her on the necessity of getting the vaccinatio­n and demand that, as long as she is living with them and they are paying her way in life, she must comply for her safety and the safety of those around her.

Our other granddaugh­ter is given “a back seat” to her sister.

Any suggestion­s as to what, if anything, can or should be done?

— Concerned

Granny

DEAR GRANNY >> The best part of being a grandparen­t is also occasional­ly the most frustratin­g part: You are not the parent!

Yippee! You don’t have to deal with the daily stuff and nonsense of everyday parenting.

You have every right to share your own valuable perspectiv­e on parenting with your own children, but you can’t make them follow your own commonsens­e advice.

Now that these two grandchild­ren are older, it is appropriat­e for you to treat them individual­ly, to forge more adultlike relationsh­ips with them, and to react with proportion­al consequenc­es regarding their behavior — without resorting to “drama.”

So, if “Camille” refuses to be vaccinated, you can explain to her why this is necessary and how her vaccinatio­n status could have a direct impact on you.

If she continues to refuse the vaccine, you likely are not going to want to spend time in proximity to her. That’s the logical consequenc­e of her choice.

If the other granddaugh­ter is more cooperativ­e, interested in others, vaccinated and easier to be around, then you are going to forge a closer relationsh­ip with her. I suggest you befriend her.

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