Job seeker considers lying in interviews
DEAR HARRIETTE >> I’ve just been fired for the first time in my life. I was fired for something trivial, but I’d rather not explain that in upcoming interviews. Can I lie to potential employers and tell them that I was not fired? From my experience, new employers almost never call the previous job to check.
— White Lie
DEAR WHITE LIE >> You do not need to volunteer that you were fired from your job, but it is not smart to lie. Instead, talk about what you learned from the job and how you benefited from working there. If asked why you left, you can say it was time to go. Ultimately, it wasn’t the right fit. You are looking for something different for your life and career.
Make sure that you do not include anyone from that job on your references. Instead, choose individuals who will sing your praises rather than someone who might reveal a flaw in your performance or character.
DEAR HARRIETTE >> My father was showing signs of hearing loss for a few months. After a lot of encouragement, we finally got him to go to the doctor to get checked out, and, lo and behold, it turns out he has significant hearing loss. He was given a hearing aid last week, and it is helping him tremendously even though it takes a bit to get used to it. I think that because this is the first major sign of aging that I’ve seen from either of my parents, I’m a little shaken up. I was not expecting to feel so bothered by this. Do you have any advice for those of us who have a hard time watching our parents age? — Aging Parents
DEAR AGING PARENTS >> I consider it a blessing to have one or both of your parents still alive as they grow older. With that attitude, all the ups and downs that are bound to come can be managed with a bit more ease and grace. Yes, they will face a bevy of challenges. But the fact that they are present and able to spend time with you and, hopefully, enjoy a good quality of life is something for you to cherish.
It is also time for you to do a reality check. What are your parents’ health concerns? If you are not clear, consider going with them to their primary doctor to get an assessment of where they are and what they need. Ask the doctor what you can anticipate, both in the near future and down the line, based on their health today. Find out what you can do to support them as they age. Look into activities that can stimulate their minds and bodies. Invest in long-term care insurance if you are able. This can help tremendously if they end up needing more support than you can offer.
For yourself, yes, it can be a challenge watching your parents age. Take it one day at a time. Celebrate the small victories. Talk to them regularly so that you know how they are and what’s happening in their lives. Pay close attention. Also take care of yourself. Caregivers often take on a lot of stress as they attempt to support their loved ones.
Harriette Cole is founder of DreamLeapers, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. Send questions to askharriette@ harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.