School wants employees to donate money back
Q
I work at a private school often funded more by its endowment than tuition dollars. The development office staff solicits donations to this endowment every year, arguing that it is important to secure the school’s future and allow it to continue in its mission of educating children.
I am fine with them raising this money, but they ask all the faculty and staff to donate, sending frequent emails about it. They believe it is important that 100% of faculty donate to the fund, as it shows other donors how committed the people who work here are to the school’s mission.
I believe, however, that it is inappropriate to ask us to donate money out of our paychecks from the school back to the school itself. Development says that the donation is “optional,” but last year I received many, many emails until I relented and donated a small amount.
It feels like it is blurring the boundary between worker and employer to ask us to donate back our hardearned money to the school in the name of our “mission.” Am I wrong? — Anonymous, California
A
No, you are not wrong. This nonsense has happened at every university where I’ve taught, and I absolutely refuse. It is craven, manipulative and greedy for institutions to ask employees to donate their hard-earned money to the institution that pays them. They are basically asking for their money back, which is outrageous.
Ignore their fundraising entreaties. It’s highly crafted language designed to part you from your money. You know what institution also has a mission of educating children? Public schools! Private education is a choice, and it is an immense privilege. (My background includes a mix of both public and private education.)
You and your fellow employees demonstrate commitment to the mission of educating children by showing up to work every day. That is more than enough.
Q
Recently, the director of my department left. A co-worker and I both applied for the job. I got it, and now my co-worker radiates animosity toward me. We are complete opposites, so some of my decisions have irked her.
I’ve mostly been able to deal with her anger, but I’ve also assumed she wasn’t angry at me but at the situation. However, her attitude is starting to affect the entire team. Other employees feel silenced by her, and in trying to help them feel safe and that their voices are being heard, I’m aggravating her even more. Yet she acts like everything is normal.
What do I do here? Her attitude is negatively affecting everyone. We’re also hiring new people, and I do not want new employees coming into this environment. I don’t have any kind of disciplinary power, nor am I sure that is the right decision. — Anonymous, South Carolina
A
Everything is not normal, and it’s time to stop pretending that it is. Your co-worker is jealous and resentful; it happens in competitive environments. But her behavior is unprofessional. It is affecting your staff. She needs to process her negative feelings and, at least at work, move forward.
I am not clear on why you don’t have any disciplinary power as a director or why it is acceptable for one person’s resentment to affect an entire team. It isn’t.
I have all the empathy in the world for someone who doesn’t get a professional opportunity she covets. She is entitled to her feelings, but she is not entitled to act on those feelings in ways that create a toxic work environment. Disciplinary action may, at some point, be necessary, but there is a lot of distance between here and there.
Try and talk this out with her. Think Festivus; allow her an airing of grievances. Ask her what her ideal path forward looks like under the current circumstances. If that clears the air, consider ways you can give her more responsibility without diminishing your authority or exploiting her labor.
I will assume she is good at her job because you did not speak to her abilities. Can you incorporate some of her ideas in your decision-making? Or allow her to take the lead on a project? We all want to feel valued at work, and when we don’t get a promotion, it can feel like a rebuke. She just needs a reminder that she is valued. But if after these attempts her attitude has not improved, it will absolutely be time for disciplinary action of some kind.
I wish you and your entire team the best as you navigate this thorny situation.
Q
I’m in the process of hiring a new writer. She impressed us all in the interview process. We made her an offer, and she verbally accepted. Then she sent us some questions about details of the offer. We sent some benefit details and vague info on our growth numbers, given the nondisclosure agreement she signed.
The day her acceptance was due back, she phoned human resources — not me, the hiring manager — to say she had another offer at a startlingly high salary. She said she’d take our offer for an additional $10,000. I really doubt the level of the second offer. But others wanted to push forward and gave her a $5,000 bump. When I phoned with the counteroffer, I mentioned her competing offer, and she brushed it off — “Oh, that, I wouldn’t take that. I’d like to work for you.”
I feel like we’ve been played. I can’t shake the feeling that she lied to us and went around me. What do I do with this feeling?
— Anonymous
A
Your new employee is not taking money out of your bank account. Why are you so pressed about her negotiating tactics or how much she is being paid? You don’t know for certain that she is lying about the competing offer, but if she is, she is not the first, nor will she be the last, person to manifest an imaginary job offer to negotiate higher compensation. It sounds as if she was savvy, did her homework and shot her shot.
Let go of the feeling that she lied and circumvented your authority. She has hustle. She will, hopefully, bring that hustle to the job every day and be a great employee. If not, you will handle the matter accordingly. I understand why you are irked about the way she went about this, but that’s your bruised ego talking. Nurse the bruise and move on. You’re still the boss.