Choosing The Right Cemetery
If you’re planning a funeral and burial, you might be struggling to decide which cemetery is the right choice. Whether you’re pre-planning for yourself long before you’ll need it, or you’re quickly organizing a loved one’s funeral after their death, you’ll need to take a number of factors into account as you decide on a cemetery.
Location
For some people, this will be the most important criterion. Does the cemetery you choose need to be close to home? If you’re making arrangements for a loved one’s funeral and you plan to visit their gravesite regularly, you’ll probably want to choose a location that’s easy for you to get to. If other family members will also want to visit, maybe you’ll consider a more central location.
But convenience isn’t the only consideration when you’re thinking about location. For someone who moved around a lot as an adult but still has a well-loved hometown, maybe that hometown is the best place for their gravesite, a sentimental choice that can bring loved ones back to the homestead when they want to visit. Or maybe there’s another favorite place that’s neither a hometown nor a current location – a college town, an annual vacation spot – that has a beautiful cemetery that feels just right.
Appearance
Some cemeteries have rolling hills and others are flat; some offer a park-like setting with plenty of trees while others keep the plantings to smaller floral selections. Maybe it matters to you whether the cemetery is a quiet oasis in a bustling city versus being surrounded by fields and forests in the countryside. Maybe you prefer the modern style of a memorial park, with only flat stones flush to the ground, or maybe you love the look of a traditional cemetery, with a wide variety of headstones in different shapes and sizes and colors.
You can find a lot out about the appearance of a cemetery by looking at photos online or in a brochure. But if the beauty of the cemetery is very important to you, you might prefer to tour it in person to make sure it looks
Availability of plots
There are many cemeteries that are entirely full or where available space is limited. This will need to be one of your first questions, and it may be that some of your preferred choices will drop off the list when you get your answer.
Religious affiliation
For some, it’s important to be buried in a religious cemetery. Your place of worship may have a cemetery onsite or be affiliated with one elsewhere in the area. If not, ask your spiritual leader for recommendations of nearby cemeteries that align with your religious beliefs
Veteran status
If you are a veteran, or your loved one is, a national cem- etery might be the right choice. Veterans and their spouses can be buried together in most national cemeteries, as can those who have served in the Reserves or National Guard, commissioned officers of the NOAA or Public Health Service, and certain others. If you think you or your loved one might qualify to be buried in a national cemetery, check with the Veterans Administration. In some cases, burial costs are waived for burial in a national cemetery.
Of course, you can choose not to be buried in a national cemetery even if you’re eligible. It may be that other cemeteries you’re considering offer benefits for veterans, such as reduced fees, so check with them.
Burial options
If you prefer to be buried in a mausoleum, or to be cremated and have your ashes scattered in a cemetery scattering garden, or to have a natural/green burial, this will affect your choice of cemetery, because these options aren’t available at all cemeteries. Your funeral director can help point you toward a cemetery that has the burial option you’re seeking.
Cost
Some cemeteries are more expensive than others, and certain desirable locations in a cemetery may be more expensive than other locations in that same cemetery. There are fees you may not have been aware of, such as opening and closing the grave (which are the industry terms for digging and refilling it). Other costs may include perpetual care, permits, and a grave liner or burial vault, which are required in some cemeteries. You might save money while pre-planning by buying a family plot for several people rather than choosing each of their gravesites individually.
The cemeteries you’re looking at should be able to provide you with a full breakdown of costs, so be sure to ask for this if you’re trying to plan within a tight budget. Comparing the costs at a few cemeteries might reveal one option that’s substantially more affordable than others.
Restrictions
Some cemeteries have restrictions on what styles of monuments can be used, what types of floral arrangements and other memorials can be left at gravesites, and what you can plant at a gravesite. Be sure to ask about any restrictions at a cemetery if this is important to you.
Upkeep
If you have time to visit cemeteries as you’re making your choice, take a look around to see how the cemetery is maintained. Has the grass been mowed, and trees and shrubs kept healthy and tidy? Are any structures and roadways in good repair? Has debris from storms or trash left by other visito the cemetery looks neglected, it might not be the right choice for you. You may also want to ask if cemetery management is responsible for maintaining the gravesites, or if it’s up to individual families.
Check cemeteries’ websites, call and ask questions, and, most importantly if you have time to do it, visit cemeteries and see them for yourself. (You can get additional help from your funeral director, who’s sure to know details about the cemeteries in your area.)