Reader wants to invite family members to therapy session

DEAR HARRIETTE >>

I have been sorting through some emotional issues for some time now. I have come to a decision that I am frightened to make: I want to ask my dad and stepmother to join an upcoming group therapy session with me. My therapist recommended that we sit down together, as a lot of my issues stem from the way they treated me when I was younger.

I’m very nervous to ask them because I’m sure they have no idea I’m feeling this way. How should I approach this?

– Group Therapy

DEAR GROUP THERAPY >> Be gentle as you approach your family. If possible, go to see them and bring this up in person.

Tell them that you have been going through some challenges and sought therapy to address them. Explain that some sensitive topics have surfaced that include things that happened when you were younger and still living with them. Tell them that your therapist has asked for the three of you to come together to talk through these sensitive topics, and you hope that they will agree.

It is likely that they will try to get you to reveal what the topics are. This is where you would do best to stand your ground. Tell them that it has been difficult for you to get to this point in your healing process. You believe you need the therapist’s professional support to help the three of you examine what comes up. Assure them that this is not an ambush. Instead, coming together with your therapist will present a safe space for you to talk together and sort through whatever comes up.

DEAR HARRIETTE >> My friend has gained a lot of popularity through her YouTube channel, where she tells long and interesting stories while doing her makeup. Lately, I guess she might be running out of ideas, because a lot of her stories seem grossly exaggerated — if not completely made up.

I didn’t really mind until she started to bring my name into the stories. She hasn’t said anything bad about me, but the fact that she’s been using my real name to tell the stories is definitely rubbing me the wrong way.

I asked her stop, and she became offended and said she thought I would enjoy being mentioned on her popular channel. I want to clear my name, but I don’t want to ruin her credibility.

Should I just stand by and let her continue to lie, or should I expose the fake stories?

— Friend Lying

for YouTube

DEAR FRIEND LYING FOR YOUTUBE >> Privacy is a huge issue and immediate challenge in the world of the internet. You have the right to ask your friend to stop using your name in her stories. Given that she is lying about you and attaching your name to the lies, I think that would be considered defamatory language.

Tell her that if she does not stop, you will press charges. Suggest that she use pseudonyms in her stories rather than anyone’s real name. In this way, she can make up whatever she wants without implicating anyone else in the process.