Sense of humor will go far
DEAR AMY >> Most of my friends have retired very comfortably.
I, unfortunately, am not able to retire.
These retired friends have now started traveling a lot and will either group text, post on Facebook, or email pictures of their beautiful vacations, the restaurants they’re eating at, the lovely hotels they’re staying at, and the plays and concerts they’re attending.
I feel sad that I cannot enjoy the lifestyles they lead.
I really don’t want to see their gorgeous vacations and fabulous lives. I don’t want to hear that it’s 80 degrees where they are, while I’m shoveling snow.
How do I ask them not to share all the pictures they’re sending, without sounding jealous or upset?
— Actually Jealous
DEAR JEALOUS >> It seems that many of your friends are living in an alternate universe — one not disrupted by a global pandemic, financial insecurity, and ... overall instability. Now I’m jealous. I’m suggesting a two-pronged approach. First: Quietly decrease your exposure to these triggers by exiting from the text stream, muting the posts on social media, and creating a “rule” for your email, where emails from certain people automatically land in a folder, to be opened only when you have the strength.
Second: Use humor to wink at your own situation and “flip the script.”
Here’s your narrative: “It’s a sweltering 4 degrees today in downtown Fargo, and I’m currently enjoying some precious time in the sun, while also getting in my morning workout of shoveling out my car!” (Post a photo.)
“Enjoying some fine dining!” (Post a photo of you standing at the sink, eating from a can of pork and beans.)
“Here I am, waiting in line for this afternoon’s matinee.” (Post a photo of you waiting in line for your weekly COVID-19 test.)
Your use of humor should never demean your friends’ good fortune but is a way for you to demonstrate that you might be down for now, but you’re not out.
As long as you can find a way to laugh, you’re not out.
DEAR AMY >> “Concerned Grandpa” was worried that his grandsons were overweight. While mentioning this to the parents might help, please caution people not to call children fat!
— Upset DEAR UPSET >> I heartily agree.