Brother takes advantage of sibling

DEAR HARRIETTE >>

My brother has been working for my digital print company for about 10 years now. Just recently, I found out that he has been making side sales with my customers, using my resources under his name, not my company's name.

He's my brother, so I'd normally be glad to share anything I have, but I'm not too happy about sharing my business resources and not receiving a profit from it. Am I wrong to feel this way?

— It's Business, Bro

DEAR IT'S BUSINESS, BRO >> amily or not, you have to confront your brother immediately. Gather your evidence so that you can prove to your brother what you have learned about his actions. Call a meeting and ask him to explain what he has been doing. Give him a chance to come clean before you give him examples.

Family relationships can be complicated. However, since your brother has violated your trust, it is unlikely that he can continue to work for you. It may not be necessary for you to file charges against him if you work through the issues and come to a clear way forward.

DEAR HARRIETTE >> My husband's niece has gotten pregnant, and she has not told her mom (whom she lives with). I suspected she was pregnant, and asked her while I was visiting her, and she began pulling out the baby clothes she'd been hiding from her mom for seven months! I told her if she doesn't tell her mom soon, I will. But it doesn't help that she's pregnant by my nephew, who lives across the street from me and my husband. Should I say something to her mom, or should I just stay out of it?

— Should I Tell?

DEAR SHOULD I TELL? >> What a difficult position you are in! On one hand, this is none of your business. This is your niece's life, and she is going to have to figure out a way forward — and soon. It is natural for you to want to give the family a headsup about what to expect in the coming days and months, but it really isn't your place to do so.

Why not speak to the niece again and urge her to talk to her family so they can help her come up with a plan for the future? She needs to have family support in order to care for this baby that she is bringing into the world.

Given that she is not independent, it is important that she include her family in this conversation so that they can talk it out and determine a way forward.

If she refuses, you may want to speak to your husband and tell her that you are concerned about his niece. Without revealing her secret, tell him that his sister needs to talk to her urgently. If he presses you about why, you can withhold the information and simply say that it is for her to discuss, but you believe she needs help.