Man connects with child he fathered 34 years ago

DEAR AMY >> Your question from “Anguished Aunt” got my attention.

This aunt had discovered an unknown niece through DNA testing. The aunt's brother was unaware that he had fathered this daughter, 40 years ago.

Well, my own niece found out that she has a male cousin that was a 99% match.

They reached out to each other, and then to me.

I had dated his mom for a short while 34 years ago (until I found out she was engaged), so we separated.

The mother never told anyone that I had fathered her child.

My newfound son and I now communicate often and see each other a few times each year.

I have two new granddaughters and a daughter-inlaw who are a wonderful addition to our family.

My wife and daughters love them.

I told him that we could have as much — or as little — a relationship as he wanted.

We communicate weekly and I will be driving south to see him soon.

We live in Minnesota (he doesn't), but it turns out that he is a big Viking and Twins fan! Funny how that goes. I hope this aunt chooses to keep the relationship going.

— Grateful Dad

DEAR GRATEFUL >> There is so much uncertainty contained in these connections. I appreciate your open attitude and the very happy outcome.

DEAR AMY >> I really hated your response to “Looking for Love,” the older man who had a companionable relationship with his wife, but was frustrated by the lack of a sexual relationship.

There are many reasons women turn away from sex, and some of these are physical.

Your response totally ignored the wife's perspective.

DEAR DISAPPOINTED >> I generally try to answer the question posed by the person who wrote to me. Their perspective, while biased, is all I have to go on.