The Mercury News

The effect of prying on the value of homes

- By Marilyn Kennedy Melia

You wonder why we do it since it feels bad so much of the time.

Nearly 70% of adults age 46 and under regularly check the value of homes belonging to friends and acquaintan­ces, and 80% say it usually stresses them out, according to a survey of some 1,400 people by Mphasis Digital Risk.

Comparing is natural

“Throughout our lives, we will look at someone else’s assets as a comparison or benchmark to our own success,” says George Blount, founder of nBalance Financial. He adds that when we’re kids, it might be a bike or a video game console that is our measure.

For those 46 and under, a prime homebuying demographi­c that doesn’t typically worry about retirement savings yet, the considerab­le amount of online data on home values is a natural draw, adds Michele Paiva of thefinance­therapist.com.

Keeping up

Although irresistib­le, the very act of checking on a friend’s home value is inherently stressful, Paiva says, because snooping seems like a betrayal. But how prying impacts your homebuying and spending decisions is vital to whether it can negatively or positively affect your overall financial situation.

“It can create pressure to keep up with someone else’s standards or lead to impulsive decisionma­king,” says Travis Sholin, who is with Keystone Financial Services, Omaha, and a chair of the Financial Therapy Associatio­n.

With the survey showing that 56 percent of respondent­s reporting that their own homebuying decisions are “very much” or “somewhat” affected by what they learn about friends’ home values, it’s crucial to avoid basing personal spending decisions on what you may think others are spending.

“Individual­s must balance external influences with their own financial circumstan­ces and goals,” Paiva says.

Seeing the complexity

The value of someone’s home does not indicate their financial comfort or income. They could have received a sizable down payment gift or a hefty mortgage that eats up their budget.

But, as long as individual­s logically make their own spending decisions, property prying is an innocuous pastime, conclude experts.

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