Reader wonders how to engage the mean girls
DEAR HARRIETTE >>
As an ordinary girl,
I have caught the attention of the campus crush, who has started to court me. This turn of events has stirred up jealousy among the other girls, leading to an atmosphere of animosity and dislike all directed toward me. I find myself feeling overwhelmed by the negative energy and uncertain about what to do next. How do I handle the resentment from my peers in a positive and constructive manner? It is important to me to maintain my integrity and not let the newfound attention impact my relationships with others. I am seeking guidance on how to address this dynamic with grace and maturity, while fostering a sense of understanding and respect among my peers — especially the ones who think he should like them, not me.
— Me Vs. Everyone
DEAR ME VS. EVERYONE >> I wish I could see you face to face right now. I would give you the biggest hug. Could it be possible that the campus crush truly does like you? Could you consider simply enjoying the attention for however long it lasts? If he is being kind, respectful and attentive, maybe it's because he sees what a lovely person you are.
If the naysayers weren't part of your life before, don't make them part of your life now. You are not responsible for other people's feelings. You can be kind to them and live your life. Do not react to their comments. Enjoy the time that you spend with this person. Remember to value yourself in the experience. Believe that you deserve to be exactly where you are for however long it lasts. Allow it to play out. Perhaps it will be a short fling. But who knows? It could become something more. Pay attention and find out.
Worst case scenario: If he is courting you on a dare, enjoy the dare! When you are strong and not clingy, you can simply have a nice time and walk away when you are no longer enjoying yourself or it's naturally over. Hope things work out.
My heart is deeply invested in someone who does not return my feelings. Despite my affection for him, he does not reciprocate my love. On top of this, I have encountered comments from those around me remarking on my physical appearance, suggesting that I am attractive and questioning why I would settle for someone who does not share the same emotions. How can I come to terms with unrequited love and find a way to move forward in a positive manner? I hold myself in high regard and believe that love should be
DEAR HARRIETTE >>
built on mutual respect and understanding, yet I am struggling to reconcile my feelings with the reality of the situation.
— Not Reciprocated
DEAR NOT RECIPROCATED >>
You already know what to do. Why waste your time trying to convince someone to love you when you already know they don't? Walk away. Be the attractive, confident person you are. Do not succumb to low self-esteem or desperate behavior because of your fluttering heart. Get over him.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@ harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.