A look into the future of Philly sports
*** Now, to the predictions for each Philadelphia major-league team for 2013. As for last year’s effort, don’t ask.
The Sixers will squeeze into the playoffs, win a round … and wish they didn’t trade Andre Iguodala.
The Flyers will go 40-8 in a 48-game season, push into the Stanley Cup Finals and jinx themselves with a certain video.
The Phillies will finish five games ahead of the Nationals in the N.L. East, for this reason: The Nationals will never again win anything, since they arrogantly wasted their one chance at a world championship by resting their best pitcher.
With a coach whose players will not be inclined to quit on, the Eagles will return to the playoffs.
And the Union won’t give away all of its good players, won’t fire its coach and will score enough to take the next step toward area-wide popularity.
The altogether unscientific, ever-awaited and fundamentally necessary exercise of any full-service endeavor to blanket-cover Philadelphia sports received a quick boost this year when confetti fell, noisemakers blared and folks hugged perfect strangers on Dec. 31.
And a few hours later — after celebrating the departure of Andy Reid — the same people welcomed in 2013.
So it happens. One minute a coach is hot, the next he is ordered to coach the Kansas City Chiefs. The trick is to predict the trends, 360-ish days in advance.
To that chore, then, for 2013 — to the task to alert the Philadelphia sports masses as to what will be popular in the new year, and what will be left behind like a trail of defensive coordinators.
Again, the first one is done already. In: Anybody. Out: Fourteen years of arrogance from the Eagles head coach.
So we’re all 1-for-1.
THE REST:
Now: The Catholic 7. Then: The Big East. There: Ben Revere. Square: Shane Victorino. Now: John Lannan. Then: Vance Worley. Da Bomb: Michael Young. Bombed out: Placido Polanco.
Gangnam Style: Jrue Holliday. Minuet: Roy Halladay. In: Mike Adams. Out: Antonio Bastardo. Peaking: Cole Hamels. Leaking: Cliff Lee. Yes: Lou Nolan. No: Shawney Here. Yes: Matt Cord. No: The rest of the Sixers’ game-day production. Keep: Charlie Manuel. Dump: Rich Dubee. Here: Matt Rhule. Gone: That other guy who coached Temple football for about 10 minutes. Yep: Ryne Sandberg. Nope: Greg Gross. Trending: Erik Kratz. Bending: Carlos Ruiz. LOL: Sons of Ben. SMH: That artificial Sixers cheering section. OK: DeSean Jackson KO: Jeremy Maclin. Get it: Ashburn Alley. Don’t get it: That eyesore where the Spectrum used to be. Now: John Hackworth. Then: Peter Nowak. Use it: Darin Ruf. Lose it: Domonic Brown. Yep: Tony DiLeo. Nope: Adam Aron. Of course: Paul Holmgren. Of course not: Howie Roseman. Rising: Josh Harris. Falling: Jeffrey Lurie. Yo: Sebastien Le Toux. Go: Freddy Adu. Time for: Nick Foles. Time’s up: Michael Vick. Fly: Evan Turner. Why? Andrew Bynum. Up: NHL players in Europe. Down: NHL players in NHL arenas.
Coming back: An Eagles running game. Gone: That 14 years worth of over-passing.
Cool: Big 5 basketball. Cold: Big East football.
Still hot: Chester basketball. Still not hot enough: Every other Class AAAA team in the state.
*** And do you get these kinds of lists?
Jack McCaffery can be reached at jmccaffery@ journalregister.com. Follow him on Twitter @JackMcCaffery.