Ten­sion mounts for tired mom who gets lit­tle help from dad

The Mercury (Pottstown, PA) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - — Ex­hausted, hot mess mom — At a cross­roads in Min­nesota

DEAR ABBY » I am a work­ing mother of three who may be bat­tling post­par­tum de­pres­sion. I feel like I am par­ent­ing alone. I get the kids out of the house by my­self in the morn­ing be­fore my hus­band even drags him­self out of bed. I drop the kids off. I go to work.

I teach, so my day is spent deal­ing with other peo­ple’s kids, and then I pick my own kids up. I have no time to de­com­press or de­vote to my­self.

When there are school func­tions, my hus­band makes me feel guilty that I’m not spend­ing time with the kids. Now he’s start­ing to make me feel guilty be­cause the kids like him less than they do me. How do I get across to him that if he did more and was around them more, they would like him more?

I’m so tired from jug­gling all these balls. I feel like if some­thing were to hap­pen to me, he’d have no clue what to do. How can I fix this sit­u­a­tion? I don’t want to re­sent him, but I’m start­ing to. DEAR MOM » Post­par­tum de­pres­sion is more than be­ing tired and over­sched­uled. It’s a med­i­cal con­di­tion that, left un­treated, can have se­ri­ous con­se­quences.

It might help to dis­cuss what’s go­ing on with your physi­cian, who can then help you ex­plain to your hus­band that if he doesn’t step up, he could in­deed be left with the sole re­spon­si­bil­ity of tak­ing care of the chil­dren. You’re right. You shouldn’t be car­ry­ing the whole load, and the bonus would be the like­li­hood that your hus­band’s re­la­tion­ship with the chil­dren would im­prove.

DEAR ABBY » I have two daugh­ters, and we don’t al­ways see eye to eye. I think one of them is emo­tion­ally abu­sive be­cause she is so crit­i­cal about ev­ery­thing hav­ing to do with me.

The prob­lem is I have won­der­ful grand­kids who are very young. I would love to see them grow up, but I’m able to see them only per­haps 24 days out of the year. I feel lonely know­ing my daugh­ter and her hus­band are so close yet so far be­cause they’re too busy with their lives to let me in­ter­act with my grand­chil­dren.

I do have my own things to do and I am ac­tive, but I would love a change of scenery af­ter two mar­riages. I would love to visit new places and make new friends and build a new life for my­self. But I won­der if it would be aban­don­ing my grand­chil­dren. I could still visit them two to three times a year from wher­ever I end up.

I have sac­ri­ficed all my life do­ing the right things by putting oth­ers first, and I’m afraid that if I don’t travel now or live some­where else, I may not be well enough later on. What do you think is a good so­lu­tion for me? DEAR AT A CROSS­ROADS » I agree you should move. Ab­sence may make the heart grow fonder, but if it doesn’t, at least you will have a chance to live your dream. Take it while you’re young enough to en­joy it, and video chat with the grand­kids.

Dear Abby

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