Re­tired man gives his own gen­er­a­tion the silent treat­ment

The Mercury (Pottstown, PA) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK -

DEAR ABBY » My hus­band, who is re­tired, now prefers to talk ex­clu­sively to peo­ple un­der 21. He says he is “men­tor­ing” them, though I haven’t seen any in­di­ca­tion of this.

He says he has no in­ter­est in talk­ing to peo­ple our age, so when we get to­gether with our friends, who are mostly our age, he says prac­ti­cally noth­ing. When I asked why, he said he prefers to im­part his knowl­edge to younger peo­ple. I have sug­gested that he vol­un­teer with younger peo­ple, but he wasn’t in­ter­ested — he just wants to hang out with them.

I’m not sure what to do. He seems de­pressed if they don’t re­spond to him in the way he would like. Mostly they show lit­tle in­ter­est in be­ing with him. What, if any­thing, should I do about this? It has been go­ing on for more than two years now. — Con­cerned in the Mid­west DEAR CON­CERNED » I feel sorry for your hus­band. He may avoid com­pan­ions his own age be­cause they re­mind him that he, too, is get­ting older. It’s no won­der young peo­ple don’t re­spond to him. I can imag­ine few pas­times less ap­pe­tiz­ing than so­cial­iz­ing with some­one who “im­parts knowl­edge” by talk­ing down to them. They might find him more ap­peal­ing if he asked them ques­tions and lis­tened to what they had to say.

Con­sider talk­ing to him about your con­cern that he is so­cially iso­lat­ing him­self from con­tem­po­raries, be­cause the longer he con­tin­ues, the less wel­come he will find him­self. How­ever, un­til he comes to that re­al­iza­tion and de­cides to fix it, do not ex­pect any­thing to change.

DEAR ABBY » My hus­band and I are proud par­ents of two adult daugh­ters. They both grad­u­ated from a lo­cal univer­sity. Our rule was if they were to com­plete their ed­u­ca­tion lo­cally, they had to con­tinue to live at home.

Now, our god­daugh­ter “Jus­tine” is in com­mu­nity col­lege and plan­ning to trans­fer to a fouryear col­lege next se­mes­ter. I was told re­cently that she’s been try­ing to con­vince her boyfriend to get a place to­gether. Jus­tine’s par­ents would pre­fer she re­main at home, but won’t fight her if she moves in with her boyfriend. I’m pretty sure they’ll con­tinue to fund her ed­u­ca­tion as best they can un­til she grad­u­ates.

We have been con­tribut­ing fi­nan­cially to­ward our god­daugh­ter’s ed­u­ca­tion. My hus­band and I feel that it’s a waste of money just so they can “play house.” She has a good re­la­tion­ship with her fam­ily and can come and go as she pleases. I’m afraid they will run into money is­sues and use the money we give her to live on in­stead of for school, which is not OK with me. Plus, I don’t think I should do any dif­fer­ent for her than I did for my own chil­dren.

I’m afraid if I let her know how I feel, it will strain our re­la­tion­ship — per­haps even the one we have with her par­ents. Should this be my con­cern or should I let it go? — Her god­mother

Dear Abby

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