On second thought — indecision about wills

One of the reasons I think average people do not draft or update their wills and estate plan is just plain indecision. That makes sense and I do understand it, having had similar experiences myself. I can describe it and can also make some suggestions. You may want a will in years past but, when the children are young, you could be wrestling with the idea who should serve as guardian or as trustee if anything happens to you and your spouse. First, you tell yourself “I’m young now. Nothing will happen.” Then you confront the possibilities.

Your brother and his wife live at a distance and you would not want your children to have to move. You do not know if your in-laws would raise your children the way you would raise them. Besides, nothing would happen. You are young. Right? Also, you figure your assets are not so high as to require planning.

There are many fallacies in that analysis, especially including the need for a plan for the children and you might even realize that at the time but, if it is difficult to decide, you might just put it off. And then you grow older.

Then take mid-life. Now you have the income and assets. The children are older. They might have jobs or be attending college. The possibility of an illness or accident could become more real if you see tragedies occur to relatives and friends. You decide now is the time to do something but indecision could rear its ugly head again. Now it can be a different kind of indecision.

You wonder, if you become sick, could your spouse handle everything? Or in the alternative, if your spouse becomes ill do you know enough about the finances to handle them alone or do you need help. If your children inherit a large estate from both of you, or if they are acting as power of attorney, will they know enough about how to use money wisely or will they spend foolishly, maybe recklessly and injure themselves.

As they — and you — grow older, you might have other questions. Who should serve as agent under power of attorney or health care power? Who should be executor or executrix? If you have only two children many parents agonize over who should serve or should both children serve together. In choosing executor or executrix, parents worry choosing one over another will cause the “losing” party to be angry at them. This occurs even though parents realize they will be dead at the time and

not know whether the party who is “second” is angry. Also, maybe the one appointed would rather not serve.

First, to put your mind at rest. No one is the perfect agent under financial power of attorney or health care power. No one is the perfect executor and there is no test to prove one way or another. This may mean that the cure for indecision is indeed to decide.

In making the decision whether to appoint more than one person to serve together as agent under power of attorney or executor it might help to know that banks and financial institutions do not favor joint agents or joint executors. One alternative is to name one and then the other as successor. Sometimes parents name one as financial power of attorney and executor and the other as health care power and reverse the order for successors. This could cover everyone.

Decision making can be risky and sometimes frightening but this is the saving factor. You can always change your mind.

If the circumstances under which you appointed someone as executor or

power of attorney change, you can change the documents. Often I see decision makers almost paralyzed by the possibility they could make a mistake. I would advise almost everyone, actually everyone, makes mistakes. This is why there is the possibility of rewrite.

The documents you prepare are intended to protect and cradle you through the difficult periods of your life. They are not intended to limit you. If you look at it this way, decision making with estate documents should make it easier, not more stressful.