The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)
How far will Peyton carry touchdown record
Register columnist Chip Malafronte wonders to what heights Peyton Manning, who can set the career touchdown mark tonight against the 49ers, will carry the record.
At bedtime last night, the boy noticed his goldfish floating lifelessly in its bowl and freaked out. My best efforts to console sounded more like Chris Berman laboring to be poignant during a Swami Sez segment: Hey, we figured he’d last three weeks tops and the darn thing lived for three years. That fish obliterated the odds. He was the ’69 Mets, Rudy Ruettiger and the Jamaican bobsled team rolled into a two-ounce body.
It’s an analogy that makes absolutely no sense. Didn’t matter. The kid was sold. His tears subsided. Success. But kind of hope he goes a different route when it comes time for my eulogy.
• Peyton Manning is on target to break Brett Favre’s NFL record of 509 career touchdowns, perhaps tonight. Yahoo Sports ran an interesting chart estimating when other NFL quarterbacks might reach Manning’s current total of 506, based on their current average TD passes per season. Drew Brees has a realistic shot, on pace to match the mark in four years, when he’d be 40. San Francisco’s Colin Kaepernick could get there if he plays to age 74; Tennessee’s Jake Locker would have to produce at his current rate until age 93.
What the chart doesn’t account for is how far Manning brings the record. He’s showing no signs of slowing down, at age 38 as effective and dangerous as ever. History indicates most NFL quarterbacks are finished at 38. Favre played to age 41. There’s no reason to believe Manning can’t churn out three more seasons. And would anyone be surprised if he pulled a Nolan Ryan and produced into his late 40s?
• The NBA is considering shortening games, chopping off 60 seconds per quarter to make a regulation game 44 minutes instead of 48. Not sure what that accomplishes other than rendering its record book meaningless.
• We know managing a baseball team is much harder than it actually appears. The postseason, where decisions are magnified 10-fold, is proof positive. But Michael Wacha on 20 days rest instead of Trevor Rosenthal’s 100-mile-an-hour heater? Come on, Mike Matheny. It shouldn’t be that difficult.
• Fox Sports 1, powered by record-breaking viewership of its Major League Baseball playoff coverage, has been deemed fastest growing the fastest growing network on television. Which is amazing considering I still can’t find it on my cable system.
• Is waiting five days to start the World Series really the best way to capitalize on the baseball momentum?
• New York Knicks big man Amar’e Stoudemire told media he bathes in red wine. It’s great for rejuvenating blood cells and circulation, he says. What’s that? You say you don’t soak nightly in a tub full of cabernet sauvignon? So gauche.
• Speaking of alcoholic beverages, last week I got myself in hot water after declaring Samuel Adams the only beer worth its hops. The emails rolled in. And a few blasted me on Twitter. I’d overlooked the many fine craft beers being produced by local brewers. To make amends, I’m taking the advice of all those who offered suggestions by stocking up on varietals from New England Brewing Company, Two Roads, Thimble Island and Stony Creek breweries. Should make the World Series that much more fun.
• According to reports, a New York Jets’ scout implored the team to draft Tom Brady in the sixth round in 2000. His pleading fell on deaf ears. Lucky for Brady. Because you get the feeling the Jet aura would have turned him into the new millennium’s Browning Nagle.
• Rex Ryan. Geno Smith. Michael Vick. Percy Harvin on the way. If the objective for winning the Super Bowl was to build the most dysfunctional roster imaginable, Vegas would’ve halted betting on the Jets long ago. Next up: the spring draft and Jameis Winston.
• Unless it’s faced with 3rd-and-goal inside the 5-yard line, why would a football team ever waste a time out in the third quarter? The Jets blew two in the second half Thursday night, one on defense and one on offense when Geno Smith opted against an otherwise harmless five-yard delay of game penalty. It came back to bite them. Unable to stop the clock, the Jets were forced to attempt a 58-yard field goal in the closing seconds of their 27-25 loss to the Patriots.
• Starbucks has a new app that allows you to pre-order your drink so it’ll be ready when you get there. Nice way to avoid the inevitable 10-minute wait, as long as you like your hot coffee at room temperature.
• Nice to see one of the rare, perhaps the only, allfemale radio broadcast team of Mary Rose Bevins and Taylor Morrison calling the action at Quinnipiac women’s hockey game Saturday.
• The ceremonial flush was nixed. So, to my neighbors wondering what I was burying in the backyard last night, it was just a goldfish. Yeah, I’m a pushover. But at least I put my foot down on a memorial headstone. Long may you swim, Teddy the Fish.