Reunited but wondering

DEAR ANNIE >> I am in a loving relationship with a wonderful man, “William.”

We grew up together, but our families moved apart over time, so we lost all contact. Then, just by chance, I found William on a dating site. I wanted to contact him that afternoon. Then I changed my mind. I would sleep on it that night.

The next morning, I woke up with my heart pounding so hard I could not even think straight. I knew what I had to do: make that call. Oh, what a day that turned out to be. William and I talked for five hours that night — and every night after that. In April of this year, William asked me whether I would like to move in with him. I did not hesitate.

I have a wonderful, loving, caring man in my life. But from time to time, I do wonder whether William is seeing his ex-wife at work or chatting on Facebook with her. He seems distant with me at times and has very little to say, and sometimes he’s unaffectionate. At those times, I try to keep busy and keep my mouth shut. But my mind is always at work, wondering what’s next.

Annie, is there any need for worry with William? Has he finished with his ex? These are the questions I need answers to more than anything. I love William dearly. I know he loves me and cares for me. Could you please give me some insight? — Your Friend DEAR FRIEND >> Calm down. William has given no indication that he is cheating. He might be distant at times, but all men are. And there’s nothing wrong with his occasionally catching up with his ex-wife, as long as it’s strictly platonic and not too frequent.

It’s important that you find ways to help your mind settle — through exercise, meditation or even just losing yourself in a good book. If you keep looking for problems in your relationship, you’ll end up creating them. DEAR ANNIE >> I just read the letter from “Sick of It,” who is dealing with a woman who is focused on hating her and spreading that hatred. It hit home with me. I was married for 25 years, and we had a wonderful life — not that we didn’t have a few rough times, too. But both of our families were always a part of our lives.

Then one day, my wife left me for another man. When he left her after three years, her whole focus shifted to making our kids and all our friends and family hate me.

Thirty years later, nothing has changed. She makes sure, just using her words, that the hate never ends. I started thinking about terrorist groups and how much trouble they’ve caused in the world just by teaching hate with words. Nothing good has ever come from it.

I’ve talked to many people over the years, and it’s surprising how many people hate a mom, dad, brother, sister or former friend and vow never to speak to the person again. Don’t they realize that this life on earth is really very short and most people wish they reconciled when it’s too late?

So here’s my idea: Why doesn’t everyone in America take two hours and watch a heartwarming Hallmark movie? Maybe a few of those really angry people will understand how much better they will feel by saying those three magic words: “I forgive you!” — Racquetball Bob DEAR BOB >> I couldn’t agree with you more. Keep spreading the positivity.

He might be distant at times, but all men are. And there’s nothing wrong with his occasionally catching up with his ex-wife, as long as it’s strictly platonic and not too frequent.