The splendid insight of an open mind

Michael, a lifelong friend, is very book-smart, but often cannot see beyond the bookends that contain his narrowly focused knowledge. Now retired, he had thrived in a rigidly structured, business environment mastering the corporate dogma and all the actuarial data that was his industry’s lifeblood. Childless and driven, he was perfectly suited for this cloistered environment and devoted much of his life to climbing the corporate ladder.

The other consuming component of his life is Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), an organization he credits with saving his life.

Enter a mutual friend, Sean, who seems to have fallen into the grips of alcoholism overnight. Of course, that’s not the case, but in the last two years the progressive disease took a dramatic turn for the worse to the degree he could not longer hide it from anyone.

In this relatively short period of time Sean has lost his loving family, many of his friends, a good job, much of his savings, and his self-esteem, not to mention the physical toll his addiction has had on his internal organs.

Michael and I have been actively involved in trying to get Sean help and to support his family, but we embrace two different schools of thought concerning the course of action. Michael is a zealous, bordering on obsessive, champion of AA, while I tend to take a broader view of where to seek help.

My experience with alcoholism is secondhand having grown up with a recovering alcoholic mother who remained sober for 40 years and very active in AA until her death. My childhood home was often a gathering point for beginners in AA whom my mother sponsored.

In some respects AA may have saved my life by helping my mother find sobriety when I was fairly young so I hold the organization in the highest esteem, but having seen others, including my brother, find sobriety through other means, I don’t believe AA is the be-all and end-all solution for everyone.

Although Michael has first-hand experience with the disease, his battle with alcoholism was nowhere near as traumatic as what Sean is going through. One day Michael, a type-A personality, just decided to get sober, joined AA, and remained sober ever since.

Sean, on the other hand, has always been less driven, less confident, selfpitying and opportunistic even as a child. In my mind, his personality combined with his alcoholism created the perfect storm of addiction. His record to date supports this theory having been in more than 10 detox and/or rehabilitation facilities in two years.

Michael’s position is that all alcoholics are the same in terms of the addiction and only AA, along with their “12 steps” to recovery, can save Sean. Any other views, methods, or options are blasphemous.

I believe we all have a tendency to think that anything that benefits us will benefit others. Self-help books and videos ranging from finance and fitness to spiritual awakening and social networking are examples of this mindset.

The ignores the complexity and diversity of the human race, and the mysteries of the mind and body yet to be discovered. What works for one person, may not work for another.

Michael is intractable in his beliefs seeing his brand of “religion” as the only conceivable path to salvation. Although we are probably not so apart in our thinking on addiction, his ego and closed mind make constructive dialogue impossible.

What Michael doesn’t appreciate is that his fanatical proselytizing for AA actually hurts the cause he so passionately supports. It alienates people simply because it’s exclusionary and doesn’t give any merit to the thoughts and ideas of others. Given his missionary fervor I’m not so sure Michael will have any interest in maintaining our friendship any longer because he sees my difference of opinion as a personal affront, rather than con- structive discourse.

This type of partisanship or parochialism seems to be the rule and not the exception in all walks of life today. It is an impediment to enlightenment and growth. Throughout recorded history this type of closed-mindedness has been responsible for most of humankind’s darkest hours and despicable acts.

At a time of unusual divisiveness in the world, we need reasoned thinking more than ever. Hope and progress come from the splendid insightfulness of an open mind, not from the stark, black-and-white perspective of a closed one.