Wife struggles with fertility

Dear Annie: My husband and I have had some difficulty getting pregnant. I am 32 and feel the clock ticking. This entire process is completely embarrassing. I am ashamed I even have to go through this.

I don’t even have an obstetrician. I want my husband to get his sperm tested but don’t even know where to send him. I have to get my fallopian tubes tested but don’t even know whom to call.

I do not feel comfortable asking my friends for referrals. What are my options? Baby Wanter

Dear Baby Wanter: You have absolutely no reason to feel ashamed. If you and your husband are unable to achieve pregnancy through traditional means, it does not signal any sort of “failure.” And you are by no means alone. In the United States, 1 in 8 couples have trouble conceiving.

As for next steps, near the top of the list should be getting set up with a physician. You and your husband can ask neighbors, co-workers and new friends for suggestions. Once you’ve found a physician you like, he or she can refer you to an obstetrician/gynecologist. Any doctor you see should be certified by the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology. You can check whether a doctor is certified at http://www.certificationmatters.org.

I’d also recommend reading Heather Huhman’s article titled “The Ultimate Guide to Choosing a Fertility Clinic... and Knowing When to Get a Second Opinion.” Huhman is an outspoken infertility advocate and host of the weekly podcast “Beat Infertility,” which you might enjoy listening to. I wish you and your husband all the best.

Dear Annie: “Planning Ahead” wrote to you about planning for her and her

husband’s senior years. She was wondering whether they should move in with an adult child. I just wanted to share my experience.

My husband and I live in a “life-care” community. We are currently in the independent section. When the time comes for assisted living, skilled nursing or memory care, these facilities are on the same campus. We don’t have to ask friends or family to help us with any type of problem, as the facility will assist us whenever necessary. Living Stress-Free and Loving It

Dear Living Stress-Free and

Loving It: Thanks for sharing this success story. I would love to hear from readers who have gone the other route that “Planning Ahead” was considering.