Nephew snubs his rel­a­tives who trav­eled to see him

The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - An­nie Lane

Dear An­nie: Yesterday my hus­band and I spent three hours on the road, trav­el­ing from our home to our nephew’s col­lege foot­ball game. We told my sis­ter we planned to at­tend his game and gave up tick­ets to a Divi­sion I game in our home­town. I called my sis­ter on the way there to ask whether she could save us seats. It was then that I found out she wouldn’t be at­tend­ing her son’s game. In­stead, she had got­ten tick­ets to the game we were miss­ing.

The weather was per­fect. The tick­ets cost only $5 each. And our nephew played about half the game.

The prob­lem oc­curred af­ter the game, when we stood on the field. We were next to my brother-in-law, wait­ing to greet our nephew, but we were com­pletely ig­nored the whole time. First my nephew stopped at the other end of the field to greet his girl­friend. He fi­nally ap­peared on our end and stopped on the right side of us to greet his friends and their fa­ther. He fought back tears as he stood look­ing at his dad and say­ing he hadn’t played well. We watched as my nephew took off all the tape on his hands and wrists. We kept star­ing at him, think­ing he would at least look at us. But af­ter an­other five or six min­utes with no ac­knowl­edg­ment from my nephew or his dad, we headed for the car.

Were we ex­pect­ing too much from our nephew to at least look at us? His team had lost in the fi­nal sec­onds, and the coach was fu­ri­ous at the whole team. I un­der­stood that our nephew was up­set and feel­ing aw­ful about him­self, but how could he have not made eye con­tact with the rel­a­tives who have spent ev­ery ma­jor hol­i­day and fam­ily event with him since he was born?

Is this the new be­hav­ior for col­lege stu­dents? My sis­ter says that he was dis­ap­pointed and that she knows her hus­band is rude but there is noth­ing she can do about it. I al­ways have ev­ery­one here for Thanks­giv­ing and Christ­mas. Should I go ahead with all that en­tails and pre­tend that all is well? Do you have any ad­vice for me or oth­ers who ex­pe­ri­ence this type of be­hav­ior?

Dis­ap­pointed Aunt

Dear Dis­ap­pointed Aunt: No, you should not go on as if all were OK. It’s time to have an open and hon­est con­ver­sa­tion with your nephew and his fa­ther about your feel­ings. Tell your nephew that you en­joyed watch­ing him at the game. Clearly, your nephew was dis­ap­pointed with his play­ing and the team’s loss, and that is al­ways tough for any player. But dis­ap­point­ment is never an ex­cuse for rude­ness. Per­haps he didn’t see you or was em­bar­rassed and didn’t want to cry in front of you. Re­gard­less, you will never know un­til you speak with him and tell him how much you en­joyed just watch­ing him.

His fa­ther is a dif­fer­ent story. If your sis­ter won’t do any­thing about his be­hav­ior, then it is up to you and your hus­band to have a kind and hon­est con­ver­sa­tion with him to let him know that your feel­ings were hurt when he didn’t ac­knowl­edge you at his son’s game.

Only af­ter you have th­ese con­ver­sa­tions should you de­cide about Thanks­giv­ing and Christ­mas. The hol­i­days are a time of for­give­ness and cel­e­bra­tion, so if I were in this sit­u­a­tion, I would in­vite them and not let this one snub af­fect the hol­i­day plans.

Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to dear­an­nie@cre­ators.com. To find out more about An­nie Lane and read fea­tures by other Cre­ators Syndicate colum­nists and car­toon­ists, visit the Cre­ators Syndicate web­site at www.cre­ators.com.

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