The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)
MOMS Club disbanding
Local chapter joining others in U.S. after parent group declines to post anti-discrimination collage
— A local mothers’ support group said it has disbanded due to lack of support from the international organization, which declined to post a photo of members pledging to stop racial intolerance.
Members of the MOMS Club of Portland and Middletown said they are standing in support of the
Rancho Santa Margarita branch, which posted an image of families holding up signs on its Facebook page, with a message that said: “We. Stand. With. All. Moms. And. Pledge. That. Racial. Discrimination. Will. Stop. With. Our. Kids.”
The International organization, run by President Mary B. James, declined to post the image, saying the group is a nonprofit orgaPORTLAND nization and does not share things of a political nature.
Former local MOMS secretaries Cristina Hayden, of Middletown, and Melissa Kelly, also last year’s president; and former co-president Amy Crafa, both of Portland, all stepped down last week.
Similar actions are being taken across the country, Kelley said. “They’re losing a lot of members.”
“It’s like people are aware now of what’s going on, and the systemic racism that’s profound throughout our society. I feel that International should have been able to share that post (of the image),” said Hayden, who said she joined the group because she was looking for a support system when she had her first child in
2017.
“We check ourselves to know the different biases that we have, and how we want to make sure our kids don’t share those or it doesn’t continue on,” she said.
Crafa said standing up for equality is very important to her family. “I don’t have any desire to be affiliated with a company that’s not for that, or is not willing to say they support all moms and equality,” she said.
An unnamed representative of MOMS Club International, based in California, said by email that its nonprofit status prohibits them from engaging in sharing anything that could be deemed political. “If they’re disbanding their chapter because the MOMS Club declined to put a specific poster on our media, that’s their decision, but we could not post it for several reasons.”
The poster sends mixed messages, MOMS Club International said in the email. “There were members that complained the poster was actually saying that the mothers in it were racists. Obviously, that’s not something we would ever want to spread, and does not conform with our inclusivity.”
“Unfortunately, situations with the police and racism in general have been politicized by others outside the MOMS Club. Any statement we make could be considered political because of that,” the emailed statement said.
A change.org petition, calling for James to resign, has been signed by 3,073 people across the country.
Local club
Molly Salafia of Middletown said she joined the group to meet people of all backgrounds. “The international club won’t take a stand on racism, and it speaks volumes. What will happen if a samesex couple, male or female wants to join? A grandparent raising a child? How do you define a mom?” she said.
Salafia said she wants to be a part of an inclusive club. “I hope we can regroup in the future under a better umbrella organization that’s true to who we really have been all along.”
Kelley said the incident began when she noticed the June 16 post about the image and alerted the Portland group. She emailed the parent group that day “to get all sides of it.”
Within the week, the majority of local MOMS club members voted to disband. A few abstained, and one other said she was interested in continuing the local chapter.
“If the one member who vote to stay does not take over, then our chapter ceases to exist,” Kelley said.
Crafa said she first joined MOMS after moving to Portland in hopes of connecting with local families for play dates and meeting new people. She was also enthused because the branch did a lot of charity work.
“Having never been a mom before, I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know what to expect, and I was in that newborn haze, so finding this community of women who support each other was really important,” Hayden said.
Laurel Steinhauser of Portland said any group unwilling to call itself anti-racist is not one she’s willing to be a member of.
She said she is disappointed, “disgusted, really” to hear about the International MOMS Club refusal “to share another chapter’s beautiful image taking a stand against racism.”
“The organization’s unwillingness to support members in taking a stand against racism is a statement of your unwillingness to lift up and support [Black/Indigenous/ People of Color] moms and children,” she said.
One advantage of MOMS is its nonprofit status allowed members to raise money for various projects, such as a car care clinic that taught them how to repair various things, Hayden said.
“They took each and every woman we had that night. We went through cars start to finish. There were women with flat tires, who had no oil — who knew nothing about cars. We were able to do things like that, because we can raise money, and we know where it’s going,” she added.
They also spent a night learning women’s self-defense techniques.
The chapter also frequently held moms night out, book clubs and other gatherings throughout the week — with or without their kids, Hayden said. “It was really great being able to connect with other women who are moms, but are also strong, amazing women doing their best.”
Hayden said she is also dismayed by the reaction of the nternational club. “I find it ironic our local chapter is amazing and so supportive of each other, and it does not have that support from International. It’s a shame.”
Kelley said she’s optimistic local moms will continue meeting in some fashion under another guise. “This is a great place for moms, and I don’t think this is the end for us. It’s the end of International for us.”