The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)
Uncomfortable conversations key to discussion of race
SCSU coach organizes anti-racism virtual talk
Unlike most of America, Marshay Greenlee has never watched the video. She hasn’t watched any of the eight minutes and 46 seconds where Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin used his knee to slowly, cruelly snuff the life from George Floyd.
“I have uncles and brothers and cousins who look just like him that are named George,” said the assistant volleyball coach at Southern Connecticut. “It’s a personal thing.”
Because Greenlee has not watched does not mean she hasn’t felt deeply and has not been inspired to act. She has. Greenlee, 24, is the one behind “Owls Stand
Together Against Racism,” SCSU’s virtual panel discussion for all its studentathletes on July 9. That discussion will lead to a series of programs addressing racism in the coming months.
Greenlee was inspired by a Zoom call put together by Oklahoma and Kansas State a month ago. She’s in a group message with other coaches and athletic administrators and a screen shot of the event was posted.
When she saw it, the registration was closing in 30 minutes.
“I’m like, oh my gosh, I’ve got to sign up for this,” Greenlee said. “I didn’t know all what I was getting myself into, but I knew it was something that even if I didn’t have any say, it was something that I should be in. It turned out to be one of the most helpful things I’ve done.”
There were 500 people on the call, and when it broke into groups there was a more intimate feel.
Southern will follow that format. Steven Hoffler, associate professor and member of the SCSU social work department, will moderate the panel discussion featuring former track coach James Barber, basketball coach Scott Burrell, four-time track AllAmerican Dawn Stanton, Greenlee and a student-athlete. Dian BrownAlbert, SCSU coordinator of multicultural affairs and former Owls track athlete, will help facilitate the session by the athlete.
“It was very empowering to be in that space with student-athletes that were willing to speak up and feel free enough to share their experiences with their peers and complete strangers,” Greenlee said. “Two big things hit me: Hearing some of the younger (Black) student-athletes speak about some of their experiences on their campus jolted me a little bit. Sometimes we don’t necessarily think these things are happening on campus or the city they’re in off campus.
“Also, hearing some of the white athletes speak up about not understanding much of what was going on, not understanding white privilege, how they fit into all this as an ally possibly and being thankful for a space to listen. There was no real awareness on one end, and then you have a group that are traumatized in a way from their experiences.”
Greenlee listened and she thought this is something that could be, should be done at Southern. It’s not always easy for a young assistant coach to step up and say, hey, this is what we should do and how we should do it.
“To feel comfortable, I had to sit and personally meditate how I was going to go about it,” said Greenlee, from Gainesville, Fla., and a four-year volleyball standout at North Florida. “I just didn’t pick up the phone and say we need to do this. I wanted to be a little more thoughtful of my presentation.”
Greenlee reached out to Kelley Frassinelli, SCSU’s senior woman administrator and field hockey coach.
“Sometimes we don’t get to speak as much because our offices are on the other sides of campus,” Greenlee said. “But we’ve had some lengthy talks and every time I see her we stop and have a genuine, free-flowing
conversation. I felt super comfortable talking to her about it.”
Frassinelli thought Greenlee had a powerful idea and asked her to reach out to someone who helped facilitate the Oklahoma-Kansas State event. The next time they met it was with Ken Sweeten, associate director of athletics, and Jay Turiano, assistant coordinator of athletic facilities and Student Athlete Advisory Committee advisor. Athletic director Jay Moran and Brown-Albert, who works for SCSU’s Educational Opportunity Program, got involved. An idea became reality.
“I want to see this to be able to change the minds and hearts of some people, but also give the Black and brown student athletes an opportunity to feel comfortable and speak up in spaces they may not feel comfortable speaking up already,” Greenlee said. “That’s the type of change that has to happen and this is the way to happen.
“Coach Barber, Dawn Stanton, myself, Coach Burrell, we’re around campus. Sometimes it’s as easy as seeing us and pulling us aside to talk about something. For allies as well, who feel they want to help build a conversation, help their own teammates and classmates feel comfortable and help change ultimately. The biggest part is to gather the students and empower them to feel like they can make change and find what that looks like for us at Southern.”
Greenlee said the committee has started to forge a follow-up plan. What happens when the students return to campus and what that will look like with COVID-19 etc.
“Dian has helped us create something similar to what they’re creating with their division, very focused conversations; maybe we’re meeting once a month or every couple of months. Have speakers and engage in a manner that is productive. Conflict can be productive sometimes; right now this is the not space for conflict in the beginning.
“I think it’s an empathetic time, to be vulnerable, not necessarily to debate about differences. It’s an opportunity for folks to share their experiences and going forward to discuss specific topics involving racism, privilege, police brutality, social injustice.”
It has been nearly six weeks since Floyd was killed. Protests from coast to coast have ensued. America is not the same place on July Fourth that it
was on Memorial Day. I asked Greenlee what she sees.
“Some folks just aren’t aware, or if they are aware that — not that they want to hide — but they don’t want to bring it out because it could stir up problems in other places,” Greenlee said. “White privilege, discussing it is uncomfortable. Racism, it’s uncomfortable. We know it’s there. We don’t talk about it.
“Finding out how things operate within my social group or work space, even sometimes with family — no, we have to talk about this. We have to have the uncomfortable conversation. It needs to happen as often as racism shows its colors.”
Her uncles have some stories, but Greenlee says she has not been subjected to ugly incidents of racism. There are little things, “covert” she calls them, that her friends might notice and she didn’t. Growing up there were unthinking questions that can cut, too.
“Why do you live there? … You’re mom’s single? You don’t have a dad? … How did you get your hair like that? Yesterday it was long, now it’s so curly? … You’re really polite. … You knit? You like to read? Yeah, just because you never saw a Black person do it doesn’t mean we don’t read.”
On July Fourth weekend last year, Greenlee was leaving dinner with her brother at Jacksonville Beach.
“I got pulled over,” she said. “One cop came to the driver’s side window. The other to the passenger side and he had his hand on his gun. I’m thinking what’s going on? I wasn’t speeding. I was just pulling onto the highway.
“I called my mom on FaceTime to make sure she could listen to what was going on. They pulled me over because my tag light (over the license plate) was out. I’m like, ‘Sir, it’s my mom’s car. I didn’t know it was out.’ It was odd. Hand on your gun? Both out of their car for a tag light violation?”
Greenlee was given a warning. “Then they drove right behind my car for about a mile and sped by me,” she said. “I’m like what? Very strange. I’m glad nothing happened to me. There have been scenarios that go very different.”
And that’s why Marshay Greenlee knows we need the discussion.