Have you been fructosed?

The Hollywood Reporter says that when movies laced with strong language end up on TV, the offensive words are often taken out and others that sort of fit the speech patterns are dropped in — whether they make any sense or not. When “The Usual Suspects” was broadcast, one irate thug ended up shouting, “Hand me the keys, you fairy godmother.”

Despite the ridiculous dialogue, we’re all for getting F-bombs out of everyday life — especially F-bombs like excess fructose and high fructose syrup (HFCS). A lab study published in Nature shows that eating too much of this sugar, which is found in fruit (that’s OK when it’s whole fruit packed with fiber) and added to prepared and packaged foods and drinks (not OK), changes the way cells in the digestive tract interact with food.

Seems the fructose revs up your villi — tiny hairlike structures that line your intestine’s walls and help shuttle nutrients, fat and sugars from your gut into your body. When they get bombarded with fructose, they grow up to 40% larger, and they move a lot more calories, fat and glucose into your bloodstream. The result is excess weight and an increased risk of cancer.

So give F-bombs the boot. Read ingredient and nutrition labels on packaged foods and drinks, and don’t buy any with added fructose or HFCS. Soda, candies, sweetened yogurts, salad dressings, some canned fruits and juices, as well as cereals, boxed dinners, and all kinds of snack bars, coffee creamers and ice creams are the usual suspects.