Judith Cary 1939-2021

We all lost a loving and gentle soul when Judith Arlene Cary passed away on September 25 at the age of 82.

Judy was born on Feb 20, 1939, to Rose and Dick Cary. Judy spent her earliest years around the New York jazz scene, sitting on the stage during rehearsals at Nick’s and, in one memorable incident, delivering a note to Louis Armstrong, still wearing polka-dot boxers in his dressing room at the Roxy Theatre. Her favorite musician (aside from her father) was Pee Wee Russell, whom she remembered as being funny and sweet.

At the age of nine Judy’s parents divorced, and she spent the rest of her childhood in Middletown, where she was raised by her mother, Rose Cary, and helped raise her younger sister, Janet. They lived at the family house on William St. alongside her nonna, aunt Nicki and uncle Manny, and cousins Tina and Shelly. Money was tight and after school, while Rose worked at Wrubels, Judy would hurry home to help out and cook dinner. Judy loved singing in the chorus, established unshakeable bonds with beloved friends like Bobby Burke, and at Middletown High was voted most popular.

Judy went on to become a registered nurse and worked for two years at Middlesex Hospital before moving on to Doctors Hospital in New York. So began her lifelong passion for healing, and over time she developed a deep commitment to alternative and new age care. Judy was a genuine care giver who touched many deeply. She would salve the pain of people however she could – with her therapies, with loving words, and with shared tears.

It was also at Doctors Hospital where Judy met Alan Bernstein, to whom she was married 16 years. They returned to Middletown, where they raised three children, Matthew, Adrienne, and Stephanie. Rose soon joined the household at Maple Shade Rd. and, from then on, she and Judy were inseparable. Family was central to her life and as time progressed, Judy delighted in each and every one of her grandchildren – fourteen in all!

Judy fearlessly marched to the beat of her own drum, which frankly rocked. Her circle of friends was amazing, her parties were epic, and her relationships were passionate. She was antiwar and pro-women’s rights from the beginning. She taught her children to be “free to be you and me.” Her interests included gourmet cooking and eating (especially with her sister, Janet), travel, crossword puzzling, bridge games, sun-bathing, doubles tennis (with Rose as her partner), movie and casino outings (with her aunt and friend, Jane Hennessey), music, Broadway shows and a string of lovable, untrained pet dogs.

Even as her health declined in her last few years, she maintained her empathy and love. Judy will be missed by her children, Matthew Bernstein, Adrienne Morgan and Stephanie Bernstein, daughter-in-law Jennifer Comparoni, son-in-law Ronnie Morgan, and grandchildren, Madeline, Jack and Will Bernstein, Danielle, Mollie, Cullen and Dillon Morgan, Carlie, Zachary, Gillian and Sam Wilson, Lulu, Coco and Jack Rourke, brother-in-law, Cliff Mevs, niece Alex Figueira (Cole Figueira), grandniece Islee and grandnephew Knox.

A Celebration of Life in Judy’s honor will be held at the Red Fox, 218 Smith St., Middletown on Friday, October 8 at 4:00. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that any memorial donations be made to the American Stroke Association (https:// www.stroke.org).