The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)
Man updates world about spouse
Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married more than 30 years. In the last five, I have had so many doctor appointments, medical procedures and surgeries that I have lost count. My husband thinks it is perfectly fine to tell family, friends and strangers about my medical conditions, tests and surgeries.
I asked a friend if she would pray for an upcoming test. She said she would. I had the test; the results were great. My husband told my friend the results without first asking me if it was OK. I realized it when she said, “Your husband told me the good news.”
Now, Abby, I understand it was good news but, in my opinion, it was
MY medical information and I had planned to tell her the next time I saw her. My husband thinks it’s “no big deal” to tell people about what’s going on with me medically. I disagree!
I have asked, even begged, my husband not to tell anyone about my medical stuff. I went so far as to go to two appointments without telling him. He was furious that I didn’t let him come along. I told him why he was left behind, but he still didn’t get it, or maybe, didn’t think my feelings were important. Am I being too sensitive or should he keep his mouth shut?
Violated in Arkansas
Dear Violated: Your oversharing husband should respect your feelings and keep his mouth shut. Perhaps he will get the message if you start giving him a dose of his own medicine. It’s worth a try.
Dear Abby: I decided to get my daughter a birthday gift that would help her to relax. She is a nurse. Because she worked so hard through the pandemic, I thought a massage would be a good idea. I enlisted the help of her daughter and boyfriend to help pay for it. I work part-time and couldn’t manage it without their help.
I chose the business after reviewing it online and fronted the money to get a certificate in time for her birthday. More than a month has gone by, and I still haven’t received their share of the money from my granddaughter or her boyfriend. In fact, I’m now being ghosted.
I’m not sure what to do. I’m considering dropping it so my daughter doesn’t find out. But I’m angry about getting hurt in this way. Please advise.
Disappointed in Illinois
Dear Disappointed:
You have learned your granddaughter and her boyfriend (who I assume are self-supporting) can’t be trusted to honor their word. I do not think you should tattle to your daughter. The distress it could cause would be counterproductive to the intent of your gift.