The Middletown Press (Middletown, CT)
Taylor Swift’s Guide to Mental Health
May is “Mental Health Awareness Month,” and with Taylor Swift taking over the world with her “The Eras Tour,” I spent some time listening to her lyrics for the clear connections to Swift: How her lyrics highlight important mental health issues facing us today.
“Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince.”
This song repeats the lyrics “It’s you and me, that’s my whole world. They whisper in the hallway she’s a bad, bad girl.” If only the hallways were just physical hallways that one could run from. Today, the hallway is everywhere — Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Snapchat, WhatsApp, YouTube, on 24/7 with billions of users. It is clear that social media usage can impact teen mental health, specifically the way it can perpetuate body dissatisfaction, disordered eating behaviors and social comparison in adolescent girls. A Pew Research Center study indicated that nearly half of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online with “offensive namecalling,” “spreading of false rumors,” or “receiving explicit images they didn’t ask for.”
“The Man.” The song takes us into today’s workplace dynamics that many women still have to face. “They’d say I hustled, put in the work, they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve. What I was wearing, if I was rude, could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves?” A Michigan State University study asked 128 volunteers to imagine they had been appointed to a committee charged with allocating bonus funds to deserving employees. The volunteers then went into a meeting with one of two actors: a man or a woman. In all scenarios, the man or woman actor questioned whether the volunteer understood the nature of the task and proceeded to “mansplain” it to them. After being spoken to condescendingly by a man, women spoke fewer words. Men, on the other hand, were unaffected.
“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”
“We are never, ever, ever getting back together. You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me. But
we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together. Like, ever.” An article in Forbes Advisor discussed divorce statistics, noting, unsurprisingly, the truth of the famous saying that half of all marriages end in divorce. But that only applies to first marriages. Second and third marriages actually fail at a far higher rate. The article shows that Taylor was right since only 6% of divorced couples ever remarry each other.
“Shake it Off.” So, how do we support our mental health and cope with our many issues? Because, after all, “the players gonna play, play, play, play, play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, I shake it off, I shake it off.” Mental Health America lists “31 Tips to Boost Your Mental Health.” Here are some of my favorites:
• Track gratitude and achievement with a journal. Include three things you were grateful for and three things you were able to accomplish each day.
• Start your day with a cup of coffee. Coffee consumption is linked to lower rates of depression
(yes, please — coffee soothes the grumpy lawyer).
• Take time to laugh. Hang out with a funny friend, watch a comedy or check out cute videos online. Laughter helps reduce anxiety.
• Has something been
bothering you? Let it all out … on paper. Writing about upsetting experiences can reduce symptoms of depression.
• Spend some time with a furry friend. Time with animals lowers the stress hormone — cortisol, and boosts oxytocin — which simulates feelings of happiness.
“All Too Well (10Minute Version).”
“It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.” I think we all have something or someone in our lives that haunts us. We think about it frequently — possibly on a daily basis or even more. Where can we turn to for help? Yes, therapy. Do your research to find a therapist who best suits your needs. We are all different, come from different backgrounds and needs, and are at different stages in life.
• Psychology Today has a “Find a Therapist” platform where providers list information about themselves and the type of therapy offered.
• Be sure you’re equipped for tele-therapy. It is a Zoom world now. So, to be effective, you need to be in a private location where a friend, co-worker, spouse or even four-legged friend cannot interrupt. This will allow you to have the freedom and focus to really dig in.
• Be mindful of work and life commitments around scheduling of therapy sessions and give yourself time to recoup, recover and focus on your
personal growth and well-being.
• Reward yourself with things that you enjoy and make time for rest and recovery.
“Fortnight.” Surprise track. “I was supposed to be sent away. But they forgot to come and get me. I was a functioning alcoholic. ’Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic. All of this to say I hope you’re okay.” If you are struggling with substance abuse, please reach out to one of the following resources. Dial 211 in Connecticut for 24/7 substance abuse resources and treatment offered through the Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services. Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers ( www.lclct.org) offers confidential and protected services available to all attorneys, judges and law students in Connecticut whether or not the individual is a member of the Connecticut Bar Association. Alcoholics Anonymous ( www.aa.org) is a global peer-led mutual aid program dedicated to abstinence-based recovery.
Attorney John J. Louizos is chairman of the Fairfield County Bar Association Wellness Committee and a Partner with the law firm Wofsey Rosen in Stamford. He focuses his law practice on commercial law, business law and real estate. He is a secret “Swiftie” and can be reached by email at jlouizos@wrkk.com or 203-3272300.