Parents keep their lofty goals, gifts at same time MISS MANNERS
Dear Miss Manners
:Iam the parent of a vivacious, bright, delightful toddler. She just celebrated her second birthday at a small family get-together). A not-insignificant part of the decision to skip a large party was that I would rather mark occasions with experiences, rather than things. The issue arose when we had cake and gifts after dinner. My mother loves her granddaughters, but by her own admission does not relate to them very well. As such, she tends to overindulge them a bit. She opened a gift (one of seven) from my mom and it was a tablet! While I respect people’s choices to give their toddlers technology, it’s not the way I choose to raise mine. She watches TV, but it is always with one of her parents, and it is never used as a babysitter. I work hard to teach my daughter that our time together is precious. My mother meant well, but she went way overboard. Is there any way to bring this up to her without coming off as incredibly ungrateful? I worry about this becoming a precedent.
Gentle Reader:
Congratulations on encouraging your child to socialize, rather than being dominated by technology. Miss Manners is in total agreement with you that these are worthy goals. Barring that, however, she reminds you that grandparents do not take kindly to being told what they may or may not buy for their grandchildren. Miss Manners recommends that you spare all parties, thank your mother, and make rules about technology that you have the ability to enforce when your daughter is old and aware enough to show interest — which she soon will be. In the meantime, enjoy your new tablet. Miss Manners is certain that your gratitude to your mother will be genuine the next time you are on a long journey with your child and find yourself suddenly eager to share it.