The Morning Call (Sunday)

Generous girlfriend is not welcomed by the family

- Write to Miss Manners at MissManner­s@unitedmedi­a. com, or by mail at United Media, 200 Madison Ave., 4th Floor, New York, NY 10016

Dear Miss Manners

:My girlfriend has done a lot for my family and me, but my family shows little enthusiasm for her. How can I get them to appreciate her more and to reciprocat­e what she has done? I live in fear of them attacking her or being cynical.

She has helped me get a job, gotten me a raise, written letters to my family, gotten me a huge discount on rent, given my family free food, etc.

Gentle Reader:

Your girlfriend seems to have an inordinate amount of influence over your career and financial status. Miss Manners is further struggling to see how many of these attributes could be reciprocat­ed by your family, or how you made the leap to the possibilit­y of them attacking her.

Is it possible that your family is (perhaps unfairly) reacting negatively based on past patterns, relationsh­ips or behavior? A solution might be this: “Kelsey is really trying to get to know you, and she is important to me. Please treat her kindly. I would like her to be around for a while.”

The subtle implicatio­n — that the family might be responsibl­e for the fact that previous partners are no longer in the picture — will likely not be lost on them.

Dear Miss Manners:

I am cursed with terrible handwritin­g. Sometimes even I can’t read what I have written. When I try to write legibly, my writing looks like that of a 5-year-old. Which brings me to thank-you notes. If I hand-write them, they are illegible or ridiculous-looking. Is it acceptable to write my thank-you notes on the computer? It makes more sense, but feels wrong, though I don’t really know why. Well, I sort of do: because it seems impersonal. But is that reason enough to have to send bad handwritte­n notes?

Gentle Reader:

Or, as Miss Manners helpfully suggests, you could simply take efforts to make your handwritin­g less bad. You do not get an etiquette pass for an issue that is, at least partially, in your control.

 ?? Judith Martin ??
Judith Martin

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