Roommates’ agreement in need of an amendment

Dear Miss Manners :Iam a female with a male roommate; we came up with a verbal agreement where I cook dinner every night and he does the dishes.

One night, I made dinner as usual, and my roommate came home after I was done eating, which is normal.

When I asked him if he was going to eat dinner, he said no, because he did not feel like eating steak again. I was surprised by this. Don’t get me wrong, it provided me a lunch for the next day, but I was raised that when somebody cooks you dinner, you eat it. And since my roommate does not have an allergy, I find it rude that he did not sit down to eat the meal that I prepared.

Gentle Reader: Your verbal agreement is in need of an amendment.

If this were a dinner guest or date, not eating what you prepared just because he didn’t feel like it would indeed be rude. But in one’s own home, one gets some autonomy over what one consumes, as long as expectations are still being met. Miss Manners suggests that you come up with a more flexible plan to this effect.

Dear Miss Manners :I married the unfavored son of a woman who has made regular large gifts to her favorite. MIL prefers to have an audience when she gives a gift, so her motivation is at least partly to get attention.

My husband and I, a family of two, have a comfortable lifestyle. But we are still the “dumpster” children or scapegoats, while

BIL and his family are positively “golden.” The favoritism has been so blatant lately that it seems MIL’s entire supply of antiques and silver has been moved en masse to BIL’s, where we step around it. MIL isn’t going to favor my husband, ever, but we can take the sting out of it for ourselves.

Gentle Reader:

Avoid putting yourselves in positions where your any IL can put you in jeopardy of appearing to be in competition. If that is unavoidable, Miss Manners suggests you keep your expression blank and your disposition even.