Invite or disinvite guests with the same envelope

Dear Miss

Manners :We understand that during COVID, plans had to change and weddings had to be postponed. However, what is the protocol for disinviting people who received “Save the Date” cards for the original wedding in 2020, but who will not be invited to the rescheduled event?

In the mail, we received a formal invitation for the rescheduled black-tie affair, but included in the same envelope was another card. It read as follows: “In light of the current circumstances and state restrictions, we must limit our guest count. Please accept our apologies. We will miss you and know we are together in spirit.”

Is it normal to send both the official invitation and the disinvitation in the same mailing? Instead, shouldn’t it have been a wedding announcement after the fact? It is a little confusing and curious. Inquiring minds want to know what Miss Manners would say in this situation!

Gentle Reader:

That it is double the insult to draw further attention to what

a disinvited guest will be missing. An announcement after the fact would, Miss Manners agrees, have been far more gracious.

Dear Miss Manners:

Can you just ask everyone to please leave a toilet plunger by their toilets? I think I must have an unusually strong toilet at home, while some of my friends have weak ones. I never seem to clog the toilet at home, but always do at other people’s houses.

It is so embarrassing to ask someone where their toilet plunger is. Do I sneak around the house looking for one rather than ask? Do I wait until dinner is over, if dinner is in progress? Do I try to lure my host into a separate room to speak privately?

Everybody, please, can you keep a toilet plunger by the toilet, or at least in a closet inside your bathroom? Then you’ll never have to talk to me about plungers again.

Gentle Reader: Deal.