Invite everyone to a baby shower, not just women
Dear Miss Manners
:I know that married couples are always supposed to be invited as a pair, the exception being when there’s a singlegender event like a bachelor party or bridal shower. However, what is the rule for inviting a same-sex partner when the spouse would usually be left out?
Hypothetical: I’m planning a womenonly baby shower. The mother-to-be gives me a list of her close friends and relatives to invite. On the list is Aunt Abby (blood relative), who is married to Aunt Sal. Aunt Sal and the mother are not close.
If Aunt Sal were instead Uncle Sal, he would not expect to be invited. But is it rude to invite Aunt Sal when no one else gets a plusone?
Gentle Reader: The idea that only women might be interested in celebrating a birth is one steeped in sexist tradition — and yet prevails.
It would be Miss Manners’ preference to eliminate the gender separation all together, making the party’s eligibility based instead on interested parties: close family members and friends, including their spouses.
Dear Miss Manners :Isit not perfectly acceptable for a sisterin-law to call to have a brother-in-law visit his brother, her husband’s, child?
I am that sister-inlaw, and my obnoxious sister-in law tried to make it seem like it was unheard-of: “I could never see myself calling to have my husband’s brother visit his brother’s child.”
Neither her husband nor mine (nor even myself, stupidly) corrected her at the time. I know it is a rule of etiquette.
Gentle Reader: And yet both the logic and the etiquette escape Miss Manners at the moment. (As did the relationships, at first. An uncle is being asked to visit a niece or nephew, correct?)
No one should be either demanding or avoiding contact with relatives. Ideally, it is voluntary. Issuing a guilt-ridden demand is likely where all of this went off the rails in the first place.