DALLAS DISASTERS
Kamu Grugier-Hill brought up ‘choke,’ so let’s take a look
PHILADELPHIA — Linebacker Kamu Grugier-Hill was absolutely correct about the modern history of the Dallas Cowboys being filled with epic choke jobs, even if he angered his coach by saying it.
Because we’re not bound by the obvious gag order that came down from Eagles coach Doug Pederson as a result of Wednesday’s revelation, leading to a hilarious locker-room scene on Thursday, we’ve come up with a David Letterman-style, top 10 Cowboys choke jobs of this century.
A horde of reporters waiting to cross-examine Grugier-Hill about his comments from the day before were met instead at his locker by teammate Shelton Gibson, who had Grugier-Hill’s jersey on. Gibson teased the reporters by first approaching them with a towel draped over his head and face, then turning away and fleeing the scene while revealing his true identity.
So, without further ado, from the home office in Lebanon, Pa., we present the list.
No. 10: The Cowboys are 8-6 with two games to go in the 2012 season and lose the final two games to go 8-8 and miss the playoffs. No. 9: Opening day, 2000. The famous “Pickle Juice” game. The Eagles, coming off a five-win season in Andy Reid’s first year as head coach, open the season on a stifling hot day at old Texas Stadium with a successful onside kick.
That starts a 58-yard touchdown drive that sets the tone for a 41-14 romp highlighted by the Eagles staying hydrated with the help of mass pickle juice while Cowboy after Cowboy drop to the turf, succumbing to the heat. No homefield advantage that day.
No. 8: The 2003 playoffs. After going 10-6 in the regular season, including a win over Carolina, the Cowboys are manhandled by eventual Super Bowl qualifier Carolina, 29-10.
Worse yet, they wouldn’t have had such a bad draw had they not lost three of their last five in the regular season. One of those was at the hands of the Eagles, whom they beat the first time around.
No. 7: The 2005 season. By losing four of their last six games, they finish 9-7 and just miss the playoffs.
In their final game, at home against the Rams, a strip-sack sets up the game-winning touchdown in the fourth quarter. No. 6: The 2011 season. By losing three of their last four,
including a 31-14 debacle to the Giants on the final day, they finish 8-8 and one game out of the playoffs. This after also losing at home to the Eagles the week before.
Meanwhile, the Giants finish the regular season 9-7 on their way to another Super Bowl victory. No. 5: Paradise lost. Rookies Dak Prescott and Zeke Elliott lead the Cowboys to a 13-3 record in 2016 and a first-round playoff bye. But they fail to
advance when Green Bay comes in and stuns them early in what turns out to be an epic game.
Losing 28-13 at the start of the fourth, the Cowboys come from behind to forge two ties before a Mason Crosby field goal from 51 yards wins it on the final play of regulation.
That was set up by a 35-yard pass from Aaron Rodgers to Jared Cook on the previous play.
No. 4: Winner take all. The Cowboys host the Eagles on the final game of the 2013 regular season, knowing the winner earns the NFC East crown and the loser is out of the playoffs.
The Eagles, who lost the first meeting at home, prevail, 24-22,
in coach Chip Kelly’s first year. Ironically, tiny Brandon Boykin, who didn’t meet Kelly’s height requirement/preference for cornerbacks, makes the gamesealing interception.
As a side note, Boykin and wide receiver DeSean Jackson, another holdover from the Andy Reid era who didn’t fit Kelly’s “measurables,” are jettisoned after the season and the Eagles go the next three seasons without making the playoffs.
No. 3: Oh no!! The Cowboys play great football throughout the 2007 season under new coach Wade Phillips, finishing with a 13-3 record.
Then they lose to the New York Giants — a team they beat both times in the regular season — in the playoffs.
Meanwhile, the Giants go on to beat Green Bay, another team the Cowboys beat in the regular season, for the NFC crown on their way to an improbable upset over undefeated New England in the Super Bowl.
No. 2: Bill Parcells’ final game as an NFL coach. Despite losing three of their final four games to finish the 2006 season 9-7, the Cowboys sneak into the playoffs as a wild-card entry and have a chance to win at Seattle in the first round. All they have to do is kick a measly 19-yard field goal with 1:19 remaining.
But quarterback Tony Romo, who also is the holder, fumbles the snap and is forced to pick it up and make a run for it around left end. He actually almost makes it to the 1-yard line, which would have given the Cowboys a first down, but appears to be chopped down inches short. Parcells fails to ask for a measurement in the ensuing confusion. And the No. 1 Dallas Cowboys choke job of this millennium: a 44-6 loss to the Eagles on the final week of the 2008 season.
The Cowboys had won the first meeting and entered with a 9-6 record. The Eagles were 8-6-1. It meant the winner would play the following week and the loser would call for tee times.
Dallas never had a chance, turning it over five times. Two of them were fumble returns of 73 and 96 yards for touchdowns.
Of course, the Eagles would go on to choke themselves in the NFC title game, losing to a team (Arizona) they beat in the regular season for the right to face the Steelers, another team they beat in the regular season, in the Super Bowl.