About charisma: Here we glow again
Q: My friends tease me, saying that I’m such an obnoxious jerk, but amazingly, everybody seems to love me. Somebody said it’s because I have charisma — like a rock star/movie star quality. I don’t think that highly of myself. I’m interesting-looking, outgoing, funny and relatively talented in what I do. What is charisma exactly, and can people create it? — Weirdly Beloved Woman
A: Charisma is the Pied Piper of personality traits, a mix of magnetism, likability and powerful presence that leads people to flock to and follow a person who has it.
This can have creepy and even deadly results when the charismatic person is a cult leader, but evolutionary researchers Allen Grabo and Mark van Vugt say charisma evolved to be a cooperation booster.
Their research says it is a
“credible signal of a person’s ability” to inspire a group of people to unite behind him or her so they can solve a problem collectively.
Looks are an element of charisma. Being tall, good-looking and physically stronger than peers, and appearing healthy, are correlated with charisma, say Grabo and van Vugt. Researchers note that having “particularly unique” features — “such as Abraham Lincoln’s elongated face or Rasputin’s piercing eyes” — may amp up charisma.
How a person acts is the main driver of charisma. Some are naturally ( genetically) equipped to be more charismatic through personality traits, but there are behaviors anybody can learn.
The behaviors that drive charisma are those that reflect “high power and high warmth,” says business coach Olivia Fox Cabane in her book “The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism.”
Most people think charisma comes from speaking powerfully Actually, listening powerfully, tapping into how someone’s feeling, engaging emotionally and empathizing, is essential to charisma. Connecting this way is what people experience as warmth, which Cabane sums up as “goodwill” — the sense that another person cares about them. Finally, consider that it takes a strong person to be open about their weaknesses and failures. People don’t relate to greatness. They relate to other people who show how human and imperfect they are.